Accused Mom to Be Arraigned This Week

Mother allegedly scalded child to
punish her.

Updated: Tuesday, 18 Aug 2009, 2:10 PM PDT
Published : Tuesday, 18 Aug 2009, 1:53 PM PDT

• Text Story by: CNS
• Posted By: David Dain

Murietta (myFOXla.com) – A 24-year-old convicted felon and child batterer accused of forcing her 2-year-old daughter into hot water to punish her is set to be arraigned Wednesday at the Southwest Justice Center.

Diana Vicky Estrada was being held in lieu of $50,000 bail at Robert Presley Detention Center in Riverside following her arrest Sunday, according to the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department.

Sheriff’s deputies were notified about 2 p.m. by staffers at the A+ Urgent Care Clinic in Lake Elsinore when the toddler was brought in with severe burns on her lower body, according to sheriff’s Sgt. Patrick Chavez.

The girl was taken to Arrowhead Regional Medical Center in Colton, which has a burn unit, Chavez said.

Investigators questioned the mother, who initially told them her daughter accidentally fell into a hot bathtub in which Estrada was cleaning curtains, according to Chavez.

“Upon further investigation, it was determined Estrada held the 2-year- old in hot water as a disciplinary measure,” Chavez said.

The crime apparently occurred Wednesday, and the child’s burns became infected in the ensuing two days, according to Chavez.

Estrada was arrested on suspicion of child abuse resulting in great bodily injury, and her other daughter, a 4-year-old, was taken into protective custody, Chavez said.

Estrada pleaded guilty to child abuse with great bodily injury and serious felony allegations in 2008.

She was sentenced to 48 months probation and 180 days in jail on the weekend work release program. She also was required to take classes on avoiding child abuse and enroll in a program for child batterers.

A few months after her sentencing, Estrada asked for her work release to be modified to house arrest, then to house arrest in San Diego. In early 2009, the court changed it back to work release, though it was unclear why.

Estrada has since allegedly violated her parole on the work release program and is scheduled for a probation violation hearing on Sept. 15.

Arraignment Weds. For Child Abuser – FOX 11 News – myFOXla.com.

Children in single-parent families more likely to suffer emotional problems, report finds – Telegraph

Children in single-parent families more likely to suffer emotional problems, report finds

By Martin Beckford, Social Affairs Correspondent
Published: 5:59PM BST 21 Oct 2008

Children from broken homes are almost five times more likely to develop emotional problems than those living with both parents, a report has found.

Young people whose mother and father split up are also three times as likely to become aggressive or badly behaved, according to the comprehensive survey carried out by the Office for National Statistics.

Living in a “reconstituted” family containing step-children or step-parents increased the risk of developing behavioural problems still further, it found.

The stark findings of the study, commissioned by the Department for Health and the Scottish Government, fly in the face of the Government’s repeated failure to extol the benefits on children of growing up in a traditional family home.

Under Labour, the number of couples getting married has fallen to the lowest level for more than a century while almost half of newlyweds are now expected to end up divorcing.

Yet Harriet Harman, the party’s deputy leader, insisted recently that “there is no ‘ideal’ parenting scenario” and “marriage has little relevance to public policy”.

The ONS report involved interviewing parents, teacher and children themselves to find out how many suffered emotional problems such as anxiety or depression, how many had “conduct disorders” such as aggression, and what the possible reasons behind them were.

After interviewing 5,364 children aged between five and 16 in 2004 and again last year, the researchers found that 3 per cent had developed problems over that time. In addition, 30 per cent who had emotional problems at the first survey, and 43 per cent who had behavioural issues, still had them three years later.

The researchers stressed they had not discovered any direct causes of emotional and behavioural problems developing or persisting in children, but agreed there was a link to living in a broken home.

Children whose parents had split up over the three years were 4.53 times more likely to develop emotional problems than those whose mothers and fathers stayed together, and were 2.87 times more likely to show the onset of behavioural disorders.

The report said: “The odds of developing an emotional disorder were increased for children where there had been a change in the number of parents between surveys, from two parents to one parent compared with children and young people in families that had two parents at both times.”

It went on: “Children and young people in households of ‘reconstituted’ families, particularly where there were step-children, were more likely to develop conduct disorder as were those in families which had two parents at Time 1 and one parent at Time 2.”

In addition, children whose mothers were mentally ill were found to be more likely to develop conduct disorders, as were those whose mothers were poorly educated.

Children who endured three stressful events such as seeing one’s parents divorce or appear in court, or suffering a serious disease or being badly injured, were three times as likely to develop emotional problems.

However those who were happy where they lived, had lots of friends or enjoyed activities outside school were less likely to become unhappy.

The report’s author, Nina Parry-Langdon, said: “If children belong to more clubs, it may offer some protection against getting a disorder in the future.”

Children in single-parent families more likely to suffer emotional problems, report finds – Telegraph.

Marriage absence: the leading cause of fatal child abuse and neglect

Outside the institution of marriage, one parent has to do everything. And there are no checks and balances if that parent is not mentally stable.

This is why at least two-thirds of serious and fatal child abuse and neglect is caused by women, who are almost always not married.

Here is yet another sickening example of what happens because Marriage has been replaced by big government “solutions”.

Woman Who Beheaded Son, 4, Showed Signs of Mental Illness Months Before

Lars Sanchez was found dead on July 18 in a bedroom he shared with his mother.

The Los Angeles Times reported Tuesday that nine months earlier, Yolanda Tijerina was seen screaming and shouting “I think you killed my son” outside the boy’s Highland Park preschool.

The principal called a child abuse hot line.

Child welfare and mental health officials investigated but the boy wasn’t removed from his home. Authorities concluded that any risk could be addressed through informal monitoring by relatives and neighbors.

Marriage absence: the leading cause of fatal child abuse and neglect :: Sex+Metropolis.

$4 Billion Abuse Industry Rooted in Deceptions and Lies

Lies and More Lies to Make Money and Create “Victims”

By Carey Roberts

Erin Pizzey is a genial woman with snow-white hair, cherubic cheeks, and an easy smile. It wasn’t always that way. The daughter of an English diplomat, she founded the world’s first shelter for battered women in 1971. To her surprise, she discovered that most of the women in her shelter were as violent as the men they had left.

When Pizzey wrote a book revealing this sordid truth, she encountered a firestorm of protest. “Abusive telephone calls to my home, death threats, and bomb scares, became a way of living for me and for my family. Finally, the bomb squad asked me to have all my mail delivered to their head quarters,” she would later reveal.

According a recent report, the domestic violence industry continues to engage in information control tactics, spewing a dizzying series of half-truths, white lies, and outright prevarications. The report, “Fifty Domestic Violence Myths,” is published by RADAR, Respecting Accuracy in Domestic Abuse Reporting: http://www.mediaradar.org/docs/RADARreport-50-DV-Myths.pdf

How often have you heard the mantra-like claim, “domestic violence is all about power and control”? That’s code for the feminist dogma that domestic violence is rooted in men’s insatiable need to dominate and oppress the women in their lives.

And the obvious solution to partner abuse? Eliminate the patriarchy!

I know it all sounds far-fetched, but that’s what the gender ideologues who get their funding from the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) believe. And no surprise these programs have been an abject failure. As Dr. Angela Parmley of the Department of Justice once admitted, “We have no evidence to date that VAWA has led to a decrease in the overall levels of violence against women.”

Once you blame the whole problem of partner abuse on patriarchal dominance, the women who proudly call themselves the “VAWA Mafia” find themselves compelled to dress up the fable with a series of corollary myths.

Here are some examples: When a woman attacks her boyfriend, claim she was only acting in self-defense. Shrug off her assault with the “He had it coming” line. Aver her short stature prevents her from ever hurting her man. Or assert she grew up in an abusive household, as if that somehow lets her off the hook.

Above all, the ideologues will never admit that partner violence is more common among lesbians than heterosexual couples. Just consider the case of Jessica Kalish, the 56-year-old Florida woman who was stabbed 222 times last October with a Phillips screwdriver wielded by ex-girlfriend Carol Anne Burger. But no one dared call it “domestic violence.”

Once you begin to play tricks with the truth, you need to invent ever grander prevarications. So sit back and get ready for a good chuckle, because there’s not a shred of truth to any of these claims regularly put forth by the domestic abuse industry:

1. A marriage license is a hitting license. (Truth is, an intact marriage is the safest place for men and women alike.)

2. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women. (The leading causes of female injury are unintentional falls, motor vehicle accidents, and over-exertion. Domestic violence is not even on the list.)

3. The March of Dimes reports that battering is the leading cause of birth defects. (The March of Dimes has never done such a study.)

4. Women never make false allegations of domestic violence. (That’s the biggest whopper of all.)

5. Super Bowl Sunday is the biggest day of the year for violence against women. (Will the abuse industry never tire of its demagoguery?)

These are just five of the 50 domestic violence myths documented in the RADAR report. As former Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan once deadpanned, “You’re entitled to your own opinions; you’re not entitled to your own facts.” Hopefully the $4 billion partner abuse industry will begin to pay attention.

© Carey Roberts

at 7/01/2009 10:29:00 PM

The Victim Feminists Rogues Gallery: $4 billion abuse industry rooted in deceptions and lies.

Parental Alienation Syndrome: How to Detect It and What to Do About It « Fathers’ Rights

Parental Alienation Syndrome: How to Detect It and What to Do About It

Posted by madcap on August 23, 2008

Over the past few weeks I have been doing research on Parental Alienation. For the past eight years my children have been victims of an Obsessed Alienation process perpetrated by their mother. I have been aware of this the whole time, but did not realize the severity and the depth of damage that was happening. I thought mom would be unsuccessful as long as I remained in my children’s lives. What I have been learning however, is that this is hardly ever the case. The power in immersing the children in an environment of “hate dad” is far too strong for children to overcome. In my case, the majority of the children’s time was spent in the Alienation environment.

This is one article that was of great assistance in helping me realize the severity of my own situation. I wish I would have sought a court order allowing me to take my children to counseling a long time ago.

http://thoughtsongod.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/parental-alienation-syndrome-how-to-detect-it-and-what-to-do-about-it/

THE FLORIDA BAR JOURNAL, VOL. 73, No. 3, MARCH 1999, p 44-48

Parental Alienation Syndrome:
How to Detect It and What to Do About It

by J. Michael Bone and Michael R. Walsh

Although parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a familiar term, there is still a great deal of confusion and unclarity about its nature, dimensions, and, therefore, its detection.(1) Its presence, however, is unmistakable. In a longitudinal study of 700 “high conflict” divorce cases followed over 12 years, it was concluded that elements of PAS are present in the vast majority of the samples.(2) Diagnosis of PAS is reserved for mental health professionals who come to the court in the form of expert witnesses. Diagnostic hallmarks usually are couched in clinical terms that remain vague and open to interpretation and, therefore. susceptible to argument pro and con by opposing experts. The phenomenon of one parent turning the child against the other parent is not a complicated concept, but historically it has been difficult to identify clearly. Consequently, cases involving PAS are heavily litigated, filled with accusations and counter accusations, and thus leave the court with an endless search for details that eventually evaporate into nothing other than rank hearsay. It is our experience that the PAS phenomenon leaves a trail that can be identified more effectively by removing the accusation hysteria, and looking ahead in another positive direction.

For the purpose of this article the authors are assuming a fair degree of familiarity with parental alienation syndrome on the part of the reader.(3) There are many good writings on PAS which the reader may wish to consult now or in the future for general information. Our focus here is much more narrow. Specifically, the goal is twofold. First we will describe four very specific criteria that can be used to identify potential PAS. In most instances, these criteria can be identified through the facts of the case, but also can be revealed by deposition or court testimony. Secondly, we wish to introduce the concept of “attempted” PAS; that is when the criteria of PAS are present, but the child is not successfully alienated from the absent parent. This phenomenon is still quite harmful and the fact of children not being alienated should not be viewed as neutral by the court. Full Article:

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Be A Father??? Yea Right, Thanks Mr. President

Be A Father??? Yea Right

I’ve got a proposal Mr. President, how about you allow men to be fathers! How about you support shared parenting and equal divorce law so that men don’t loose their homes, their children and rights to their working labor supporting a woman who left them through no fault divorce and a child that has been taken away from him. No father should be a “visitor” of 4 days a month in a child’s life. 90% of men loose their children in divorce. 70% of all divorce is initiated by women. I ask you Mr. President who is it really that is abandoning their families? Maybe the same people who entitled themselves to gain alimony and child support even in no-fault divorce,, The Women’s Party the Feminists! Maybe the same people who lobbied to create no-fault divorce, The Women’s Party, the Feminists.

How dare you speak to men in such a condescending way. “Take your kid to the zoo, play catch etc etc… How dare you act as if we need to teach men to love their children. How dare you… I have never been married and am not a father but I know the forces I face for Men’s and Father’s Rights in my country. Men have been cast out of the family structure in the largest proportions in history and now you are trying to tell men it’s their fault, that fatherhood is in crisis and it’s men who need to man up and solve the issue!!!? Men are fighting EVERYDAY to be fathers. The Men’s and Father’s Rights Movement is growing. I urge you Mr. President to go to ACFC.org and sign the shared parenting petition.

FIX FAMILY LAW AND STOP YOUR PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS BLAMING MEN FOR AMERICA’S RECORD RATE OF DISSOLVED FAMILIES, OUR 40% SINGLE WOMAN BIRTH RATE AND FATHERLESSNESS….. YOU FEMINIST, YOU ASSHOLE, HOW DARE YOU BLAME MEN AND PUT ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX THIS ON OUR SHOULDERS!………

Is this so! Why don’t you do something about it!
With all due respect Mr. President I just graduated college several years ago and young boys and girls are taught not only in my Women’s Studies class but even in my philosophy class that men are not necessary as husbands and fathers. You see we were all taught that all that is necessary for the development of children is the extended family of grandparents, uncles and aunts and the myriad of men that come in and out of the homes of single mothers and “their” children or simply a loving gay or lesbian couple. Even I fell for it. It was only my Women’s Studies class that made me realize that it was all a lie. You see, they say single motherhood is a lifestyle choice remember? What do you think brings me here to create my blog? My Women’s Studies class you idiot. I was so angry at what they were teaching in my college my mother was worried about me. I came home red in the face my president. Think real hard about the changes in our culture in the last 35-40 years. Take a good hard look at feminism. You know, the people you surround yourself with and convinced you to create the Council on Women and Girls only. Those people!!!

Posted by Bwec at 5:18 PM

Rebuking Feminism: Be A Father??? Yea Right.

Children’s Rights Initiative for Sharing Parents Equally

SUPPORT THE RESPONSIBLE FATHERHOOD AND HEALTHY FAMILIES ACT OF 2009

Many poor fathers are shut out of the lives of their children because the family court system puts profits over children and parents.  The majority of these fathers are homeless, but the public has this skewed perception that these fathers are taking five vacation trips per year, driving fast cars, have a trophy girl friend, and could care less about their children who are straving and momma is trying to scrape every penny together to feed them.

In 2006, then Senator Barrack Obama sponsored the Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act which failed miserably.  The contributions of fathers are grossly ignored by the media unless it is someone like Michael Jackson.  We seriously need change in putting fathers at an equal level as mothers when it comes to raising children.

We need to make serious changes and get rid of bad laws that hurt families and children.

Attorney Andrew J. Thompson writes about what we need in order to have true responsible fatherhood:

https://mkg4583.wordpress.com/2009/07/01/responsible-fatherhood-and-healthy-families-family-law-and-fathers/

Equality in Parenting: while parents’ roles will always differ, both parents matter deeply to every child, and on the whole, their roles should be valued equally and with an equality of balance. When parents separate, divorce, and act as single parents, each parent should be responsible for roughly equal shares of financial and parenting time responsibilities.  This equality should be recognized under the law.  The father who is willing to bear his share of each of these responsibilities should be honored and acknowledged, and his role and time with the children should not be inhibited by the family courts.

Support Enforcement: while covering a relatively equal share of his children’s financial support is part and parcel to fatherhood and will always be expected of fathers, current child support standards are far too onerous and unfairly burdensome to fathers.  The federal government plays a role in support regulation today and productive reforms can be made in the law as follows:

1. Repeal the Bradley Amendment: Fathers who have been alienated from their children, perhaps have not seen them for 5,10 or 20 years, should not be forced to pay support to the mother.  The Bradley Amendment has created a situation where we have billions of dollars of uncollectible child support over the past 20 years, and it is time for its repeal.
2. Title IV-D Funding: Under current law, states are rewarded with federal funds based on the amount of support they collect.  This creates an incentive in the system to create unreasonably high support guidelines and calculations, set inappropriately high support awards, and deploy draconian enforcement methods that force many, good fathers to live in poverty or near poverty conditions.  States should receive federal funding focusing directly and solely on those cases where collection is achievable (actual resources are shown to be available), and there is a history of continuing dereliction and lack of cooperation on the part of the parent obligated for support.
3. Imputation of Income: Not even the IRS can arbitrarily impute an income against which it may levy charges, yet nearly every state permits this practice in determining the amount of support a father will have to pay.  This practice defies the principles underlying many of our Constitutional rights.  No state should be allowed to receive any federal funding as long as it allows for this practice.
4. Sanctions/Imprisonment: There are many jurisdictions nationally where more than 10% of the prison/jail population is made up of fathers who are unable to pay support.  This runs contrary to the purpose of the laws themselves, as it prevents from earning the income necessary to do what the law is expecting of him.  The law should prohibit any parent who is willing to work and pay support from being jailed for non-payment of support, and parents responsible for support should be given a preference in professional and other licensing that may be necessary in order to earn the income to pay support.
5. Garnishments: While other creditors are limited to garnishing 25% of an individual’s income, child support agencies can collect up to 65% – 65% of a low or mid-income wage, leaves the person completely unable to meet any other obligations, even the most basic.  Garnishments for support should be limited to 25%, consistent with otehr creditors.

Domestic Violence Issues: domestic violence is a very serious crime and should always be treated as such.  Allegations of domestic violence should result in appropriate protection for the victim with appropriate sanctions.  Children should not suffer alienation from a parent, they should not be punished for the actions of the parent.

Here is some info on the Act:

http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-s1309/show

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/record.xpd?id=110-h20070801-76

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Posted on July 10th, 2009 by Semper Fi

Children’s Rights Initiative for Sharing Parents Equally.

Group Works to Reconnect Fathers, Children – WDAF

Group Works to Reconnect Fathers, Children

Monica Evans, edited by Jason Vaughn

August 7, 2009

KANSAS CITY, MO – There are hundreds of children around the metro area being raised by single mothers, but one organization is working to help fathers reconnect with their children.

ReEngage reaches out to men to help them become better fathers through classes and counseling. Rodney Knott, the executive director of ReEngage, says that a large percentage of African American children are born to unwed mothers. He says that while there are many wonderful women raising good children, both parents should be involved in the lives of their kids.

“Women don’t just get pregnant, they get pregnant through a relationship with a man,” said Knott. “So we already have these relationships, what we hope to do is bring the support and to support the family holistically.”

Charles Harris’ 10-year marriage ended in 2005, but he says that he never expected his divorce to cut him off from his 14-year-old son. He says that he hasn’t seen his son outside of court-ordered counseling sessions for the past two years.

“My heart is very heavy right now, very heavy,” said Harris. “I’ve been fighting this for 3 years trying to reconnect with him, trying to have a relationship with him, trying to see him, trying to be a father to him and the system just won’t help me out.”

Knott says that his organization, which is hosting an absentee father’s conference at UMKC on Friday and Saturday, can help fathers reconnect with their children’s lives.

“Our goal is to reach out to these men with love, support and caring,” said Knott. “We can not shame men into doing what they should be doing.”

“We are the silenced minority,” said Harris. “Unfortunately, people don’t understand that we have a story to be told, that we want to be involved in the lives of our children.”

For more information about the father conferences, check out http://www.fathers.com/WDOGSsummit, or http://www.reengageinc.org/.

Copyright © 2009, WDAF-TV

Group Works to Reconnect Fathers, Children – WDAF.

If A Woman Murders A Child, Don’t mention it..

12.8.09

If A Woman Murders A Child, Don’t mention it..

This should demonstrate the “female” friendly media’s approach to any wrongdoing that women perpetrate in society. Not the usual “Women murders child” or” female involved in suicide”…No,no,no,no..

By the way, wouldn’t this domestic violence ?

Have to wait and see what the outcome is but I am willing to bet there is something here that is not being reported or ignored under the PC banner that applies to “Women Only”..

Here’s another example of a mother NOT having the best interests of the
children in mind nor in being the best and most caring and loving parent.

Notice that the news doesn’t rush to condemn a female perpetrator – as they
would have (more likely) with a male. And no names. Blokes typically get
named, blamed and shamed quick smart!

———— ——— ——— ——–

http://au.news. yahoo.com/ a/-/newshome/ 5792736

YahooNews (Sourced from the ABC)

11 August 2009

Death of 4yo a ‘murder’ investigation( Again, if it’s a woman, it’s not mentioned in the headline Ed.)

Adelaide police say their strongest line of inquiry into the death of a
four-year-old boy at Kensington Gardens involves a possible murder and
attempted suicide.

The boy’s body was found in a bedroom of the family home on The Parade,
along with his 47-year-old mother and his nine-year-old brother.

Both were passing in and out of consciousness.

Police say none of the three had visible wounds and there were no signs of
violence.

The boy’s nine-year-old brother has been admitted to the Adelaide Women’s
and Children’s Hospital.

The woman remains in a critical condition in the Royal Adelaide Hospital
and police are keen to speak with her if her condition improves.

Detective Chief Inspector John Gerlach says police believe medication may
have been involved and they are treating the boy’s death as suspicious.

“It is a terrible thing, but we’re investigating the circumstance and it’s
too early to tell yet exactly what happened,” he said.

A post-mortem examination will be done on Tuesday to determine how the boy
died on Monday.

ABC Source: http://www.abc. net.au/news/ stories/2009/ 08/10/2651742. htm

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

http://www.abc. net.au/news/ stories/2009/ 08/11/2652285. htm

ABC News
11 August 2009

Mother, son stable, a day after family tragedy( Notice the female friendly headline Ed.)

A woman and her son have regained consciousness in hospital, a day after a
four-year-old boy died in a family tragedy in Adelaide’s eastern suburbs.

Police say the woman, 47, and her son, nine, are in a stable condition in
hospital after being found in a bedroom at a house on The Parade at
Kensington Gardens on Monday morning.

Police are yet to interview them.

The mother is in the Royal Adelaide Hospital (RAH) and her son in the
Adelaide Women’s and Children’s.

A four-year-old boy was found dead in the bedroom by his father, who
contacted police.

A post mortem examination is being done on the boy.

Police have said they are looking at whether murder and attempted suicide
were involved.

———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —

http://www.abc. net.au/news/ stories/2009/ 08/10/2650864. htm

ABC News
10 August 2009

4yo found dead at Adelaide house( still the same Ed.)

Police say there were no signs of violence at a house where a four-year-old
boy was found dead in Adelaide’s eastern suburbs.

The boy’s mother and an older brother were rushed to hospital.

Police say the boy was found dead in an upstairs bedroom of the house in
The Parade at Kensington Gardens by his father, who telephoned police on
triple-0 and is now being interviewed.

Authorities say medication may have been involved in the death.

A nine-year-old boy was taken to Adelaide’s Women’s and Children’s Hospital
and a 47-year-old woman to the Royal Adelaide Hospital in a critical condition.

Chief Inspector John Gerlach spoke to reporters about those taken to hospital.

“When they were taken to hospital they were passing in and out of
consciousness, ” he said.

Police were alerted to the tragedy just after 7:30am ACST.

A post mortem examination will be done on Tuesday to determine how the boy
died.

Posted by Christian J. at Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Labels: sexist bias in the media, women are not domestically violent

What Men are saying about Women.: If A Woman Murders A Child, Don’t mention it...

Protecting Fathers’ Rights in Move-Away Petitions

Published: 2009-8-14

Article provided by Law Offices of Lori Clark Viviano
Visit us at www.viviano-law.com

State Law Has a History of Unfairly Treating Fathers

California law has long favored awarding primary custody of children to mothers over fathers. This disturbing trend only has served to undervalue the important role fathers play in their children’s lives and reinforce outdated gender stereotypes that mothers are best-suited for raising children.

Until recently, state law also has granted mothers an almost limitless right to relocate with their children. Before a custodial parent can legally move to a new location with their children, they must file a move-away petition with the court. The non-custodial parent also must receive a copy of the petition and will be given a chance to contest the move. If the custodial parent does not file the request and receive permission from the court, the parent can be forced to return to California. The children also may be placed temporarily with the non-custodial parent until the court makes its decision.

California law provides custodial parents the right to move and take the children with them. The court will not prohibit a parent from moving or require the parent to show that the move is necessary. Other states provide greater protection to the rights of non-custodial parents and require parents seeking to relocate to show why the move is necessary and/or in the best interests of the child. California, however, does not require the mother to justify her move.

When a mother moves with her children, the father’s access to the children may be greatly limited, especially if the mother relocates to another state. A father who once had weekly visits may find his time reduced to a couple of weeks each year with his children. The father also may have to incur great expense to spend time with his children, especially if they now live thousands of miles away.

Contesting the Move

Fathers contesting a move-away petition may be granted increased visitation time with their children or the court may even award custody, either temporarily or permanently, to the father if the mother follows through in her decision to move.

Generally, to win a change in custody, the father must be able to prove that the move is a detriment to the child. In the LaMusga case, the California Supreme Court held that the impact of a move on the child’s relationship with the father is a relevant factor in determining whether the move is a detriment to the child and may justify a change in custody.

In an attempt to clarify California law, the court set out eight factors that must be considered prior to modifying a custody order in a move-away case:

• The child’s interest in continuity and stability in the current custodial arrangement
• The distance of the move
• The age of the child
• The child’s relationship with both parents
• The relationship between the parents’, including their ability to communicate and cooperate with one another and put the child’s interests before their own
• The wishes of the child (so long as the child is old enough to communicate them)
• Reasons for the move
• The extent to which the parents currently share custody

Fathers who have shared joint custody have a better chance of receiving a change in custody than fathers who rarely see their children. However, even mothers who have sole physical and legal custody of their children do not have an absolute right to move whenever and wherever they want. Even in these cases, the fathers still have a right to contest the move.

Conclusion

The LaMusga case has been heralded as an important victory for father’s rights. While the case does not mean that every father who contests a move-away petition will be able to gain custody of his children, the case does send an important message that the role the father plays in a child’s life is important and cannot be diminished on a whim by the mother.

For more information on contesting a move-away petition, contact an experienced family law attorney today.

Protecting Fathers’ Rights in Move-Away Petitions.

Why Women’s Shelters Are Hotbeds of Misandry – Really??

One of these days, these rocket scientists will tell us something that will surprise us.  The whole feminist/LGBT homosexual ideology is based on hating men. (Actually in truth, everyone I listed in these groups hate heterosexual men and women and love to be “victims”….) However, the domestic violence money goes to help women only. Physical violence by women against men runs at 35 percent, but men are shamed into not seeking help against crazy women. And politicians don ‘t give a damn, because only women are “victims.” And what about children and domestic violence? Women commit more than 50 percent of domestic violence against children according to a US government study.

Why Women’s Shelters Are Hotbeds of Misandry

by Von Gerhard Amendt
10. August 2009, 18:30 Uhr

According to Gerhard Amendt, Professor of Gender and Generation Research at the University of Bremen, representatives of the supposedly weaker sex are every bit as violent as their partners. The researcher concludes that women’s shelters foster a devaluation of masculinity and should therefore be replaced by familiy counseling centers.

At the very moment when the operation of women’s shelters in Germany has been subjected to scientific study for the first time, the German Bundestag’s Family Affairs Committee has decided to review the question of whether women’s shelters should receive funding guarantees through the German federal government. Given the political ideology of women’s shelters and the ramifications of such a step, this proposal should be taken under serious review.

The answers to a number of questions are still outstanding. Have the services performed in women’s shelters stood the test of time? Are the shelters operated in a professional manner, and have they moved on from an ideology that views men as the perpetrators of violence and women as nonviolent? Have women’s shelters developed a professional understanding of family conflicts that enables them to extend their efforts and include all members of a violent family?

As usual, the slated funding guarantees are based on no more than the convenient statistic that “every fourth woman will become the victim of relationship violence at some time in her life.” Since there is no comparable data that would apply to men, the number is poorly suited as legitimization for women’s shelters. Up until now, reference was made to the role of women as victims, and funding for such institutions was automatically renewed.

The effectiveness of the shelters was not monitored. At the same time, the statistic was used to popularize their work. In the pre-Christmas season of 2007, a media campaign was launched in Austria under the slogan “Verliebt. Verlobt. Verprügelt” (In Love. Engaged. Battered). The German lottery also runs public service spots pertaining to the matter. While all this has little bearing on the circumstances under which men and women actually conduct their lives, it couldn’t document more clearly a bias against men.

When women’s shelters were first being opened more than 20 years ago, the object was to focus public attention on the experience of violence from a woman’s perspective. The founding of the Bremen women’s shelter can be traced to just such an intention on the part of the author, who at the time endorsed the risky attempt to provide political lay self-help.

This coincided with the spirit of the times and its sensitivity to violence as an aspect of women’s lives – although it did not extend to men. In those days, the author, too, was unwilling to imagine that women’s shelters would make a substantial contribution to a hostile polarization of society into violent men as opposed to irenic women, thereby creating many years of stagnation in gender discourse.

Ignorant Family Policies

Today, we know more than we did 25 years ago about the partnership dynamics that trigger violence. More than two hundred studies in the USA and Canada have produced findings that have added to public knowledge and increased understanding in political circles. But it is precisely the field of family policies that offers stubborn resistance to the very essence of this research, namely, that women behave just as aggressively and violently as men, and even slightly more often.

This also applies to their behavior toward their children. It is particularly conspicuous during phases of a divorce that are high in violence. All counseling agencies should be expected to help limit violence so that children, above all, do not become actively or passively involved in the violent episodes between their parents.

A major survey of divorced fathers conducted by the author in Bremen showed that violence occurs in 30 percent of all divorces, with 1,800 men reporting physical or psychological abuse by their partners. This represents a significantly higher rate of incidence than the approximately ten percent seen in relationships under everyday conditions. Within the 30 percent of divorces where violence occurred, sixty percent was initiated by the men’s ex-wives or ex-partners. Our survey findings revealed that within the most conflict laden context of an adult life, women, too, initiate violence.

Only from the perspective of women’s shelters does violence emanate exclusively from men. Instead of making divorce conflicts more tractable, women’s shelters actually exacerbate them. The »every-fourth-woman« statistic is therefore being used to document the necessity of changing the Domestic Relations Law of 1998, because allegedly the sole source of danger for children during a divorce is violence stemming from their fathers. By pursuing this approach to family policy, the advocates of women’s shelters are attempting to use prejudice as a means to rescind the right of children to both of their parents.

The 60 percent of divorce-related violent incidents that are initiated by women inflict great suffering on the fathers involved. Their statements are genuine. Yet there is a difference between science and the ideologically based enemy image adopted in women’s shelters, and it lies in the evaluation of the numbers. Whereas science attempts to resolve conflict, the proponents of women’s shelters book hostility toward men as political success. Accordingly, we do not claim that women experience episodes of violence in exactly the same way that men do. To make that assertion, we would have to survey them, which we have not as yet done – and neither have the »every-fourth-woman« agitators.

We have, however, arrived at an entirely different set of conclusions. We assume that women experienced the abuse in a similar way as their partners, namely, as stemming from the man. American studies confirm this. But if both parties are mutually accusing each other of starting the violence, then what is actually true? Both statements represent subjective truths. Generally, neither of the parties is lying. Unlike during their happier times, however, both of them now feel aggrieved and are no longer able to communicate with each other verbally. They lapse into lethal silence, scream at each other, or resort to physical blows. In such cases, marriage and family counselors can help to restore the couple’s destroyed ability to communicate. Once the partners reestablish a common language, they have the option of entering into a process of reconciliation or choosing to separate with respect. They and, above all, their children do not lose their positive experiences from the past.

Women’s shelters are incapable of providing this kind of professional intervention because of their ideology: they view a man as every woman’s enemy. For them, it is a foregone conclusion that women do not engage in violent acts. According to the ideology espoused in women’s shelters, this is always a given, and mutual talks between a woman and her partner are therefore superfluous. To this end, women are politically manipulated into a victim role and men are collectively denigrated. Consequently, the residents of women’s shelters are allowed to experience themselves only as victims and not as participants in a relationship that has turned violent.

Women’s shelters represent a world where the joy of life is missing, and efforts to resolve relationship conflicts have been replaced by existential despondency or even self-hatred. Misandry appears to offer a way out. This oppressive atmosphere surely accounts for the high rate of employee turnover at women’s shelters and the dissension within work teams. It enables one to understand recent research conducted in the USA which found that women are increasingly steering clear of shelters despite the severity of their conflicts. They do not want to be forced into a world that despises men. Their own problems are burden enough.

The advocates of women’s shelters are unfazed by objections that they are compromising the ethics of the helping professions, for professionalism is not their goal. On the contrary, they self-confidently label themselves as “partisan,” which is synonymous with viewing women as victims who face sinister male powers and an indifferent public. Professional ethics have been deliberately replaced by political motives. And that is by no means selfless. It gives them a narcissistic high and a sense of moral superiority over the rest of the world. It is a mixture of elitism and pretended self-sacrifice.

In the founding years of women’s shelters, this elitism functioned as a gateway for the disparagement of existing professional organizations that were sponsored, for example, by Protestant churches, the Catholic Church, or the German state governments.

In that respect, little has changed. The proponents of women’s shelters believe that their combative, anti-patriarchal rhetoric will have a greater impact than professionally trained counselors and therapists. Most of them seem unimpressed that they are not genuinely helping those who seek counseling, because they attribute their failure to a lack of political insight on the part of the women. Their sense of mission appears to provide greater narcissistic gratification than the tough, daunting task of working with violent families who have elevated physical expression to the language of everyday life and otherwise no longer have much to say about each other.

The Feminist Ideology: A Hotbed of Misandry

Granted, there may be shelters that have jettisoned their ideological ballast, but even the term “women’s shelter” itself always implies the disastrous ideology of radical feminism, whereby relationships between men and women are characterized by their respective status as victim and perpetrator. According to that, women can do nothing and men are completely in charge. Thus, women’s shelters perpetuate the destruction of communication within partnerships as a political project within the gender discussion.

The conclusions are obvious. The concept of ideologically based women’s shelters is no longer needed. What families with violence problems urgently need is a network of counseling centers that can provide unbiased and nondiscriminatory assistance to all of the parties involved. For family violence is systemic and psychodynamic in nature. If a woman strikes her husband, and the husband strikes his wife, then there is a high probability that they are also abusing their children. And children who have been struck, boys and girls alike, are in turn more likely as adults to strike their own children or partners. This sets the course for the reemergence of intra-family violence in the following generation. Society continuously accumulates a growing potential for violence. And mothers who do not strike their children, but instead leave the task to the children’s father, are no less integral parts of the scheme of violence – as is the parent who simply remains silent in response to the entire situation.

Family Counseling Centers against Domestic Violence

Instead of women’s shelters, what we need in the future are specialized counseling centers for families with unresolved violent conflicts. These would be staffed by well-trained men and women who cooperate based on professional ethical standards. They would intervene directly during violent family crises and, in extreme cases, provide a temporary safe haven for men and children and women, to the extent this has not already become unnecessary due to a personal protection order. We need family counseling centers that can step in and have an impact at the very source of the ongoing intergenerational cycle of violence. A public that is dumbfounded by the apathy of youth welfare offices and horrified by school murders and the corpses of children should approve government funding only if those who seek counseling are assured to receive effective assistance. Counseling and therapy simply must be kept free of political ideologies. The only place where this does not apply is in undemocratic societies.

Likewise, we need to initiate a new discussion at colleges and universities. Politcal correctness has given rise to a prohibition on thinking about women in terms of aggression and violence, and this must be confronted with the findings of international research.

About the Author

Gerhard Amendt is Professor of Gender and Generation Research. His most recent book, “I did not divorce my kids!” How Fathers Deal with Family Break-Ups was published in 2008. His forthcoming publication is a text book on intra-family violence. The author can be reached at amendt@uni-bremen.de or through his homepage: http://www.igg.uni-bremen.de

Translated by Philip Schmitz

Essay: Why Women?s Shelters Are Hotbeds of Misandry – Nachrichten Politik – Deutschland – WELT ONLINE.

Child Found Beaten, Starved in Closet; Mom Arrested – KTLA

Child Found Beaten, Starved in Closet; Mom Arrested

KTLA News

5:09 AM PDT, August 14, 2009

Desiree Gonzales

Related links

• Mother Arrested in Brutal Child Torture– Jim Nash reports Video

APPLE VALLEY — A mother and her teenage roommate have been arrested after authorities say they found her 5-year-old son ‘weak and emaciated’ inside a closet.

Officers say the child was living at a house in the 21000 block of Pahute Road along with 9 other children, 3 adults and a teenage boy.

An anonymous tipster called a child abuse hot line this week and reported that a young child was being held hostage and denied food and water in a house.

Deputies say the child had bruises and lacerations all over his body and immediately asked arriving deputies for water.

The victim was transported by ambulance to St. Mary’s Hospital and later to Loma Linda University Children’s Hospital for treatment. He’s being treated for burns, bruises, cuts and malnutrition.

Deputies say the child’s mother, 31-year-old Desiree Gonzales, and the 16-year-old male roommate had been beating, burning and depriving the child of food and water.

The suspects were displaying symptoms of being under the influence of suspected methamphetamine and were also identified as having Los Angeles area gang affiliations, deputies said.

The other 9 children were removed from the home by Children and Family Services. The victim was the only child that belonged to Gonzales.

Gonzales was arrested and booked into the West Valley Detention Center on charges of Child Abuse/Torture.

The 16-year old was arrested and booked into Juvenile Hall on the same charges. It’s believed he may be Gonzales’ boyfriend.

The other two adults in the house were not charged.

The investigation is on-going.

Anyone with information regarding this incident is urged to contact Detectives Bessinger or Goddard at (909) 387-3615.

Copyright © 2009, KTLA-TV, Los Angeles

Child Found Beaten, Starved in Closet; Mom Arrested – KTLA.

More than 18,000 poor Buffalo children grow up without fathers : Children of Poverty : The Buffalo News

I sometimes wonder why a mother chooses not to marry the father of her child, and why a father chooses not to marry the woman he impregnated. 

I think people that do this are stupid, selfish, self-centered and deep down and sociopaths in their relationship with each other and their children.

The only ones who I feel sorry are the children, children, children.  Also the taxpayers of this country wind up paying for the parents selfish behavior, if the mother refuses the help of the father, and the father refuses to offer help. Also through on top of this welfare laws that totally disenfranchise fathers, particularly poor white and black fathers, and you have a recipe for disaster. – Parental Rights

CHILDREN OF POVERTY: A CONTINUING SERIES

More than 18,000 poor Buffalo children grow up without fathers

By Charity Vogel

NEWS STAFF REPORTER

Updated: January 28, 2009, 5:06 PM / 0 comments

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• Update Feb. 10: Illiterate children are poor beyond words
• Trying to fill the emptiness day in and day out

//

Dante Brown is a playful, rambunctious toddler growing up on the city’s West Side. TraJanae Sanders is the same kind of kid, growing up on the East Side.

A lot separates these 2-year-olds, but in some important ways, their young lives already echo with similarity. Both are poor.

Both are being raised by young women who bore them as teenagers.

And neither child has a dad at home. Dante and TraJanae are two faces of a change that’s deeply affecting many neighborhoods in Buffalo — where today 43 percent of children live below the poverty line.

These two children, and at least 18,450 others in the city, are growing up in low-income homes headed by women alone. This is fatherless Buffalo.

The disintegration of the two-parent family in poor city neighborhoods, many people say, has contributed to the transformation of many once-vital streets into poverty-racked places where low-rent apartments fill with the same kinds of occupants:

Single mothers with young children. Fathers, here, have largely vanished.

“He’s a joke to me now,” Dante Brown’s mother, Janelle Dzina, said about the father of Dante. He left Buffalo for Toronto when Janelle was four months’ pregnant.

“These men,” said Dzina, who also has a 1-year-old daughter, Maria Irizarry, “they don’t respect women.”

The number of children growing up in poverty without fathers at home in Buffalo includes 5,388 of the city’s youngest children, those under age 5, census data shows.

And those numbers reveal just a slice of the problem. Many single moms — TraJanae’s mom, TaNisha Cole, among them — live with older female relatives to cope and thus don’t show up in most statistics.

Everyone — from the women raising babies, to public officials, to fathers themselves — agrees that this shift in household structure matters, especially to children.

“I’m going to work as hard as I can to be there for my children,” said Darius Sanders, 30, no relation to TraJanae, who got out of prison last year and has four kids in Buffalo with two women, none of whom he lives with. “But I feel like I’ve been on a hill for the last seven, eight months. It’s rough.”

Close observers differ in their opinions of why the problem exists — and how to fix it.

Some say society is to blame, for setting poor men up for failure as dads.

“They’re being excluded,” said Sterling Pierce Jr., who works with poor parents in the city, many of them fathers, who don’t live with their kids. “It’s a societal problem.”

Others argue that much of the blame rests with the fathers.

“These men, they don’t know how to be fathers,” said Dr. Alvin F. Poussaint, a Harvard professor and nationally known voice on the status of the black family in America. “They walk away from it. They get their feelings of manhood from making babies — not from raising babies.”

Buffalo is not alone in facing this problem. It’s changing the fabric of cities nationwide.

Across the country, 37 percent of all children born in 2005 had single mothers.

In the black community, the proportion is much greater: Nearly 70 percent of black children are now born into single-mother households, data shows.

In recent months, this disintegration of the low-income family has drawn new attention.

Sen. Barack Obama spoke of the breakdown of poor families in a major speech on race in Philadelphia in March, when the Illinois Democrat criticized the “legacy of defeat” that plagues many black families today.

“A lack of economic opportunity among black men, and the shame and frustration that came from not being able to provide for one’s family contributed to the erosion of black families,” Obama said, “a problem that welfare policies for many years may have worsened.”

The families of Dante and TraJanae know those problems only too well.

Dante’s mom, Janelle, received welfare for 18 months because the fathers didn’t provide steady income for her kids. The 21-year-old recently landed a part-time job at a downtown restaurant.

TraJanae’s mom braids hair to make money; she relies on her mother for shelter and food, and she uses the WIC program for baby supplies. TraJanae’s father has not helped at all, she said.

“My daughter is 2z, and he’s given her a total of $50 and two sweaters,” said Cole, 21. “He’s pretty much like other guys his age. They want to be rappers. I’m not thinking about being a rapper — I’ve got diapers and wipes to buy.”

‘It’s hard to parent’

What’s happening to fathers in Buffalo’s poor neighborhoods?

Why are they disappearing? And does it matter?

Even the fathers themselves don’t know all the answers.

“It’s hard to parent,” said Sanders, a truck driver struggling to get by on the poverty line. “That connection is not there. I’m still trying to figure that out, to be honest.”

Much of the problem, observers said, may lie in the educational and job opportunities open to poor men.

Buffalo schools have a high dropout rate: 39 percent. After school ends, young men in depressed neighborhoods struggle to find good-paying, secure jobs. Many don’t have transportation, which adds to the problem, since few jobs exist in run-down city neighborhoods.

“Some people say, let them pull themselves up by their bootstraps, get a job and make money,” said Lenora B. Foote-Beavers, a support magistrate for Erie County Family Court. “I say, what if they don’t have bootstraps? What then? Especially in a depressed area like Buffalo, where good jobs are hard to find.”

That’s why many of the young women who get pregnant by these men find themselves the better-educated and more steadily employed of the pair.

Like TaNisha Cole. When she found out she was pregnant, neither Cole nor the baby’s father had a full-time job. Cole stuck it out and finished high school; her boyfriend didn’t. He dropped out, planning on earning a GED, but never did.

“He was like, ‘Let’s get a house and live together,’ ” said Cole, watching her daughter play with coloring books in a tiny bedroom decorated with Disney princess posters and a yellow TV. “I was not in agreement with that. Neither one of us was working to the point we’d be stable enough to pay rent, pay bills, buy diapers, all of that.”

Another problem with some men — particularly in black communities — is that they end up with arrest and prison records. In New York, 6.4 percent of black adult men were in prison, compared with 0.5 percent of white adult men, a 2002 study by Human Rights Watch found.

That makes it difficult for these men to support families once they get out of jail, some said, since many employers don’t want to hire people with these backgrounds.

“They get recycled out, they’re ex-inmates who are stigmatized, who don’t have any skills and who have problems getting jobs because no one will hire them,” said Poussaint. “And when they’ve been in jail, they feel even more like they’re unable to be a father — they feel they should stay away from their kids, because they’re a bad role model.”

Sanders went through that cycle last July, when he was released from prison.

“It was like starting from scratch,” Sanders said of walking out of prison with $30,000 in child support claims against him for his four kids, a revoked truck driver’s license and no prospects of work. “I’m trying to get my life back on track.”

A touchy subject

There’s also such a thing as personal responsibility of the fathers — a touchy subject.

Poussaint’s new book with entertainer Bill Cosby, “Come on People,” has been criticized by some for its message that black men need to take more responsibility for their choices and family obligations.

“People say, ‘You’re blaming the victim.’ They say you should never blame the victim or criticize them,” said Poussaint. “That’s backward. That’s a status-quo position. It’s a position that has almost no expectations of the victim.”

Dr. Ruby K. Payne, a nationally known expert on poor children and education, has also drawn attention — and some controversy — for her views on black men and their role in fathering children but not caring for families.

“When you don’t have role identity [as through a job], you only have gender identity. And proof of gender identity is sexual identity,” said Payne, based in Texas. “And proof of that is the children you produce.”

But if something is shifting deep within Buffalo’s poor fathers, something has changed in the minds of the city’s poor young women, too.

Mostly, it’s a matter of expectations — the ideas of these young women about what their futures will look like.

“There’s a lot of bitterness among these girls, about men, about the fathers of their kids,” said Carol Greetham, who runs a support group for single teenage mothers at the Buffalo Christian Center downtown.

The idea of a baby’s father in the home, for these teens, she said, “is so foreign, it’s like seeing surfing on TV for them.”

Payne said that babies have become something important in the lives of poor young men and women, but not in a healthy way: They’ve become a rite of passage.

“Rites of passage in the middle class are when you graduate, or when you can drive,” she said. “In poverty, it’s fathering — or mothering — a child.”

Major transformation

Young women living in poverty in Buffalo’s neighborhoods said that a major transformation of family structure has occurred in their families in just the last generation or two.

They remember their grandmothers as married women, living with one man in a stable home.

Their own mothers had more varied experiences: Some met and married men and raised families with them, but many others became single mothers — often, the first generation of single mothers in their families.

Now, these young women in the late teens and 20s find themselves living in a universe where no young women they know in their peer group are married or engaged.

These women do not expect to have a long-term relationship with the men that father their children.

This is not a fluke or a mistake. It’s the common culture.

“Some of the baby’s fathers are around, but most are not,” said Cole, who hopes to move into an apartment of her own later this year. “They’re saying, ‘So what if you had a baby — I laid down with you, that’s it.’ I see that every day. These guys say, ‘I’m too young to be a father.’ They’re trying to be a gangster.”

A few young women still hold out hopes for that kind of two-parent home.

“I think it’s right to get married. I want to get married,” said Dzina, who grew up in an Italian-American Catholic family and broke down crying when she told her mother she was pregnant with Dante. “I just want stability. I want my children to see daddy leaving for work every morning.”

Some small steps

The fatherlessness of Buffalo’s poor children isn’t a problem that can be fixed overnight.

But some small steps toward reversing the trend are being taken.

On the state level, a pilot program launched in late 2006 has put programs to enforce “responsible” parenthood into place in five locations statewide.

In Erie County, that resulted in $500,000 going toward programs to help absent parents reunite with their families. In Chautauqua County, the programs totaled $200,000. Since their inception, those programs in the bicounty area have helped 869 parents, mostly fathers, in various ways, and some have returned to their families, officials said.

One such program will lay out $300,000 over two years to aid hundreds of men and some women who are currently dissociated from their families, said Pierce, the program’s coordinator.

“It’s designed to help them feel more comfortable being a parent,” said Pierce. “It’s a learning process. If they’re not in that home, living with that child, how do they learn those skills? Typically, these fathers don’t have the support systems. They don’t have the moms showing them how to change a diaper.”

In addition, an earned-income tax credit program for noncustodial parents was launched across the state in 2007 in an effort to provide financial incentive to absent fathers to keep up with their child support payments, said David A. Hansell, commissioner of the state Office of Temporary and Disability Assistance.

“We should all have an altruistic interest in helping these children, whether they’re our children or not,” said Hansell. “But kids who grow up in a home without a second parent are more likely to end up in prison, more likely to have problems with employment, they’re less likely to graduate from high school and college.”

On the grassroots level, some small groups have formed to help poor people on both sides of the equation: men with being good fathers, women with coping as single moms. The teen moms’ group that Greetham runs with co-organizer Diana Hills at the Christian Center is one example.

At bimonthly meetings, teen mothers get a chance to eat dinner together, socialize and learn from guest speakers and other educational programs. Greetham and Hills, who began the group three years ago with one teen to start, said they’ve helped about 25 young moms so far.

“It’s growing slowly, organically,” said Hills. “I’m not disappointed with where we are. But there are so many more girls out there.”

cvogel@buffnews.com

More than 18,000 poor Buffalo children grow up without fathers : Children of Poverty : The Buffalo News.

What your child says may not be what they feel – Parental Rights and Children’s Rights After Divorce

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

What your Child Says is Not
Necessarily How He or She Really Feels

During my 30 Years of Practice, I would often have a Parent tell me “Little Johnny always says he wants to live with me and hates it at his Mom’s/Dad’s House.” Why doesn’t the Child Custody Evaluator or Judge listen to him and change custody?

We have to remember that particularly in high conflict cases, Children get “caught up” in the conflict. They know that their Parents are at War, and they don’t want to offend either, often for fear of abandonment by the Parent that they “let down.”

Children in these situations can feel like they are walking a “tight rope.” They are just trying to survive. They quickly learn what makes each Parent happy. When they say something and a Parent reacts in a Positive, Loving Way, that reinforces their need to continue with that form of conduct.

This leads to those statements, like “I want to live with you.” “Mom/Dad never pays attention to me.” “Mom/Dad yells at me when I am at their house.” If you listen closely, you may hear your child say something critical about the other Parent that is similar to what you say or how you feel about the other Parent. Children often overhear conversations or just sense how one Parent feels about the Other.

Parents can cause this situation unknowingly. Clients have said to me, “I have never asked Little Johnny where he wants to live. He just voluntarily says he wants to live with me.” What the Parent doesn’t understand is that it is not what “you say,” but often your behavior and actions, which encourage a certain type of behavior by a Child.

In addition to creating emotional turmoil and upset to your Child in the short term, this type of situation can also cause serious long term emotional damage. A Child will have a skewed view of adults and the proper way to behave. They will have trouble trusting other individuals. Often, they lose touch with their own true feelings and needs because they are accustomed to “act out” to meet the needs of each of their Parents.

When you are in the middle of a Child Custody Battle, it is difficult to think with a Level Head. You are caught up in your emotions and tend to behave in a manner, which feeds those emotions.

A Few Guidelines to Consider are:

1. Let your Child know that you Love Them, Unconditionally. Tell them it doesn’t matter if they want to live with you, the other parent or both, you will always Love them and Be there for them.

2. Soften any criticism the child has of the other Parent. You may want to say something like, “maybe it isn’t as bad as you think.” Or, “have your talked to your Mom/Dad about that?” Or, “let’s see what we can do so it doesn’t happen again.” (I know this is a tough one when you probably feel the criticism is justified, however, it is unnatural for children to want to criticize their other parent. Let them grow up first, and then decide as an adult if a criticism is justified.

3. Make certain your Child knows that it is OK to love and to want to be with the other Parent. It is important to convey this message verbally as well as through your behavior.

These are “Tough Love” Lessons, and hard to follow when you are in the midst of a Battle. However, remember, Your Child’s Mental Health now and for years to come depends upon You and Your Conduct.

For More Information About Child Custody Actions and Divorce, and for FREE downloads, please visit my website at http://www.edivorcesource.com. (Don’t forget the “e” before DivorceSource)

Or, Feel Free to visit my custodial sites – http://www.WinCustodyNow.com or http://www.FathersWinCustody.com.

My Best to You.

Dianne R. Ophelia, Esq.

The 30 Year Divorce Expert

Posted by Peter G. HIll at 2:40 PM

Communicationhelper: What your child says may not be what they feel

Public school officials trample parents’ rights

Published: Oct 09, 2005 12:00 am

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The Parkers requested prior notification before class discussions on homosexuality.

David and Tonia Parker of Lexington, Mass., saw a red flag when their son came home from kindergarten last January with a “diversity book bag” that included “Who’s in a Family,” a book promoting acceptance of gay marriage. The Parkers thought it was their right, as parents, to decide when and how to introduce their son to the issue of homosexuality.

The Parkers believed the public school, Estabrook, is right to be teaching tolerance of gays but wrong in raising the subject in kindergarten and then indoctrinating 5-year-olds on gay marriage. Tonia Parker says gay parents are allowed to come into class and read their material to a captive audience of the very young.

The Parkers did not attack the “diversity book bag” program. They requested notification of any future school discussions of homosexuality so they could have their son opt out. They pointed to a state law defending the opt-out right of parents. The school argued that the law pertained to sex education, not discussion of family forms.

In a series of e-mails, the school agreed to a meeting, where the Parkers thought an accommodation would be offered. When the school took a hard-nosed stance instead, David Parker refused to leave school property. He was arrested, led off to jail in handcuffs, then allowed out on bail. His trial for trespassing has been delayed for months. A restraining order, still in effect, bans him from the school and its grounds. He cannot attend meetings of school committees or pick up his son after class. He cannot even vote, since the school is his voting site.

The American Civil Liberties Union of Massachusetts said the school is on sound legal ground (no surprise there), arguing that “public education would grind to a halt if parents had the right to demand classes tailored to each child based on the parent’s moral views.”

Occasionally, the school and its anti-bias committee, with strong gay membership, have argued that the book bag program merely acknowledged the plain fact of same-sex marriages. But the committee’s Web site was more candid, stating that the book bags are intended “to build an atmosphere of tolerance and respect” for “family structure diversity.”

The site says children “have the option to bring home a diversity book bag,” and the school says it gave ample notice to parents. But Tonia Parker says she carefully files every notice and never received one on the book bag. The school said the book bag was on display at back-to-school night. Tonia Parker says she attended that event but was never told about the bag. Brian Camenker, head of the pro-family group Article 8 Alliance, which opposes gay marriage, says the diversity bag was there but in an inconspicuous place with no indication of what was in it. Another couple, the Parkers say, knew about the book bag and told the school not to send it, but their child was sent home with it anyway. That family has since left Lexington.

The strongly liberal Boston Globe offered some questionable reporting on the controversy. In one report last May, it blandly referred to “Who’s in a Family” as “a book that depicts a same-sex couple.” Another report quoted a smug educational bureaucrat comparing the Parkers’ argument to that of a parent who wanted “James and the Giant Peach” removed from a school.

But the dispute isn’t about censorship, oversensitive parents, or even gay marriage. The Parkers have made no anti-gay statements and have kept their argument tightly focused on parental rights to allow their children to opt out on issues of sexuality and lessons that implicitly approve gay marriage. Parker refuses to plea-bargain on trespassing until the school lifts its restraining order. The Parkers have assembled a strong legal team to handle the criminal case and a civil suit they plan to file against the school system.

Camenker, who wrote the state opt-out law 10 years ago, says there is no doubt that Paul Ash, Lexington superintendent of schools, has misconstrued it. Even if the law didn’t exist, he says, it’s mind-boggling that the school would trample parental rights by denying a simple opt-out. Lexington is “an incredibly left-wing town” strongly opposed to the Parkers, he says, but in the rest of the state, maybe 80 percent to 90 percent of the people who know about the case support the Parkers.

One problem is that gay activists tend to blur the line between tolerance, which the vast majority of Americans favor, and approval of homosexuality, which meets significantly greater resistance. This happens often as lessons of approval are smuggled into anti-bias programs. Another problem is an older one: Public school systems often view parents not as allies but as annoying obstacles to be overcome. In this case, as the Parkers’ argument goes national, the obstacles stand a darned good chance of winning.
John Leo is a syndicated columnist.

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UTAH ADOPTION STOMPS ON FATHER’S RIGHTS at Father Fighting to Stop the Adoption of his Daughter

UTAH ADOPTION STOMPS ON FATHER’S RIGHTS

This is part of a screen shot of Ashley’s myspace profile. As you can see on the bottom of the image, she has changed her occupation to “babyseller.”

Cody wants nothing more than to be a father. He is currently in a legal battle with the Adoption Center of Choice in Orem Utah to protect that right.

Cody and Ashley conceived a child together in the fall of 2005. When Ashley told him of her pregnancy Cody made it very clear he wanted her to keep the child. (Cody was under the impression Ashley was contemplating abortion.)

Cody said he would take care of her financially and provide her with a place to live if her family kicked her out due to her pregnancy. Ashley had told him her family was going to “disown” her. Cody stressed at the time he was intent on raising the child.

THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

A few months later Ashley told Cody that the child had died – that she had a miscarriage. Cody then came up to Idaho to get his life in order. Cody kept the same email address and cell phone number, both of which Ashley knew. Ashley never called again.

When Ashley was 8 months pregnant Cody learned from a mutual friend that Ashley was still very pregnant and was giving the child up for adoption. Ashley already had the adoptive parents picked out and actively involved in the pregnancy.

Cody immediately called to see if this was true – leaving a message on Ashley’s voicemail.

LDS FAMILY SERVICES

Ashley returned the call saying she wanted Cody to talk with Adam Barnes of LDS Family Services. Adam then tried to talk Cody out of persuing his parental rights. Cody responded to Adam saying he had no intention of giving up his parental rights and that he was going to exercise his parental rights in raising his child.

Adam then tried to convince Cody to give up his parental rights and Cody informed Adam that it was not up for discussion. Adam informed Cody there was no putative father’s registry in Wyoming, but Cody already knew there was a putative father’s registry in the state of Wyoming. Cody registered with it.

(Click on the picture of the registry to enlarge)

The O’Dea family went higher speaking with Adam’s supervisor Cary Shelton – explaining that Cody demands to be in his child’s life and LDS Family Services had better follow the law. Dennis Ashton (Director of LDS Family Services in Utah) was also contacted and Cody sent a letter of intent to them.

(Click on the picture of the letter to enlarge)

LDS Family Services sent back a letter stating they were pulling out of the adoption of Cody’s child. This letter can be seen below. NOTE: The agency put the wrong date on the letter. It was written in 2006 and not 2005.

(Click on the picture to enlarge)

Everyone has always known and Cody has made it perfectly clear that he wants to be the father to his only child.

MOTHER TO MOTHER

Cody’s mother (Melinda) tried to reason with Ashley’s mother (Laura). Melinda told Laura that since Ashley has stated over and over she does not want the child, the O’Dea family is more than happy to help Cody raise his child. All Laura would say to Melinda was Ashley had to give the child up to a married Mormon couple and that the child needed both a married mother and a father. Laura said she would do everything she could to follow through with their beliefs.

DECEPTION

Cody continued to call Ashley’s phone, leaving messages begging her to let him know when the baby will be born. Cody kept pressuring the Mormon church for information as to the whereabouts of Ashley and the baby because they had disappeared and were no longer in Buffalo Wyoming.

On June 15th 2006 at 12:03pm Cody received a call from a blocked number. It was from Ashley. The conversation went like this:

Ashley: You will listen and you will not speak. First of all I want you to stop harassing me and that includes your mother. I am in Utah. You will not father this child. You will pay child support until the child is in College. You will never see this baby. Do you understand?

Cody: No, I do not understand, does this mean you are planning to keep the child?

Ashley: Do you understand what I’m saying?

Cody: No, I don’t understand, does that mean you are keeping the child and not giving it up for adoption?

Ashley: If you understand what I have told you, that is all I have to say.

Ashley then hung up. At 4:09pm that same day Cody’s daughter was born. (This is what we have been told. We have yet to see a copy of the birth certificate.)

Ashley, her family, nor the Adoption Center of Choice ever contacted Cody to let him know the baby had been born or placed for adoption. Cody found out from a mutual friend who saw Ashley at a party no longer pregnant. Cody called the hospital in Sheridan and Buffalo Wyoming but was informed he could not get any information without a paternity test proving he was the father of the baby in question.

Cody sent the police over to do a welfare check on the baby. Officer Duncan then called Cody to let him know the baby was not with Ashley. Ashley told officer Duncan to tell Cody that she would call him that night. She also told the officer if Cody thinks hard and long enough Cody will know where the baby is. Cody called Ashley that night and left two messages. Ashley never returned Cody’s phone calls.

STATE JUMPING

Cody was informed later that Ashley had the child in Utah and had given her up to the Adoption Center of Choice. Cody – once informed – sent a letter of intent to the Adoption Center of Choice.

(Click on picture to enlarge)

Cody received a reply from the agency lawyer Larry Jenkins stating Cody had not established his parental rights in the state of Utah – therefore had relinquished his parental rights.

(Click on picture to enlarge)

The Adoption Center of Choice accessed the Wyoming Putative Father’s registry the day the child was born. All the information in the Wyoming Putative father’s registry was given to the Adoption Center of Choice at that time – thus notifying the Adoption Center of Choice of Cody’s desire and unwavering interest in his child. The Adoption Center of Choice received the same information in regards to Cody’s interest in his child as LDS Family Services who withdrew from all adoption proceedings because of Cody’s desire to raise his child.

(Click on image to enlarge)

We are in the process of appealing the courts latest decision and are headed into the appellate court. We do not expect to have a court date until after the holidays.

WE NEED YOUR HELP

We would like to ask everyone to take the time to sign the petition here and write the Utah Attorney Generals office and the US Department of Justice about Cody’s case. Their information can be found here. The more people start talking about baby brokering/human trafficking by people abusing Utah laws – the more the authorities are going to look into it.

We’ve also had people ask how they could donate to Cody’s Legal Fund. In response we have set up an account that will go for the Lawyer at U.S. Bank. If you are led to donate you can click here for the paypal button or walk into any U.S. Bank and tell them you would like to donate to Cody Mitchell O’Dea’s Lawyer fund. If you have any questions feel free to email us at lawyerfund@babyselling.com Thank you and God Bless you all.

**The O’Dea family would like to say Thank You to whomever made the anonymous donation to the attorney account. What a wonderful thing for you to do! We greatly appreciate it. God Bless You!**

Hey, this is happening to me too! What should I do??

Click Here For Help

In addition to these steps you should file with the putative fathers registry in every state you think the woman would/can place the child. It may sound crazy, but I would recommend filing in every state.

Updates and Announcements

• Nielsons REFUSE to give the baby back despite court order!
• Christmas miracle for one daddy
• Letter to Baby
• Happy Thanksgiving Little Miss O’Dea (From Grandma)
• Exciting Announcement
• Petition for baby Michael Hunter
• Another man who’s child was taken against his will.
• LDS adoption horror story
• LDS Family Services in the news again *CAUTION* Disturbing article
• Announcing our NEW Attorney!
• What a way to hear the judge’s decision…
• My family is not posting on your sorry website.
• The judge made a ruling…
• It makes me wonder why this girl is fighting so hard to keep this baby away from this guy?
• Rally Picture

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• Aislin’s Blog
• Amy Adoptee
• Baby Evelyn
• Bryn Ayers
• Camira Bailey
• Chronicles of Munchkin Land
• Exposing Mormonism
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UTAH ADOPTION STOMPS ON FATHER’S RIGHTS at Father Fighting to Stop the Adoption of his Daughter.

Are We A Fatherless Society?

Are we a ‘Fatherless’ Society?

By Jeweleen Manners-Woodley Counsellor, The Counselling Center LAST Mother’s Day weekend, I pushed into a popular gift store to buy my usual Mother’s Day Card. The store was full with shoppers – women and men, boys and girls – jostling to look at the wide selection of cards on display. After waiting for the crowd to thin out, I managed to find a nice card and headed on my way. A day before Father‘s Day, I headed to the same store to pick up my Father‘s Day card, blaming myself for again leaving my card-buying till the last minute. To my surprise, the store was as free and clear as a breezeway. There were hardly any shoppers, and hardly any Father’s Day cards to choose from. Turning to the saleswoman, I asked, “How come there’s hardly any Father’s Day cards this year?” She shrugged and said, “Well, you know Father’s Day is not like Mother’s Day…we don’t get that many sales, so we don’t bring in that many”. I left the store thinking, “Wow, what does that say about our fathers in St. Kitts?” It’s clear that fathers have been drifting in and out of families for a long time, probably as far back as the days of slavery, when plantation owners regularly broke up families, prohibited marriage, and used male slaves to ‘breed’ as many females as possible to increase the number of slaves for the plantation. A similar type of family disorganization continues today in St .Kitts-Nevis, with a large percentage of men fathering children with several different women, but not committing to any one of them. Some men drift casually from partner to partner, ‘depositing’ children along the way, while others have many children in several different committed relationships across adulthood. With low marriage rates and high out-of-wedlock childbearing, fathers often don’t reside in the same households where they have offspring. How are these fathers then able to guide, nurture, and protect their children? While some non-residential fathers remain in touch with their children, many do not; often because of irresponsibility, or ignorance of the importance of their role. Many men have no role models for responsible fatherhood, having never been fathered themselves. In other cases,, mothers may prevent fathers from having access to their children, especially if the relationship has ended on a bitter note. Still in many cases, men are so ‘stretched’ by the number of offspring they have, that they find it difficult to be financially and emotionally involved in their children‘s lives. How easy is it for one man to divide his time among five children in five different households across St. Kitts? And how possible is it for a $1500 salary to pay child support for five children? Not very. The sexual freedoms that men have traditionally enjoyed, therefore, make it difficult for many men to be active fathers in their children’s lives, and creates an epidemic of absent or ‘part-time’ daddies – men who have little involvement with their children besides perhaps, ‘hailing’ them up on the road, taking them out on special occasions, or showing up when the exasperated mother pleads for them to ‘please talk to yuh child’. And how does this epidemic affect the children? Studies show that children with absent fathers experience more emotional, social, academic and behavioral problems than other children. One study found that boys who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families (Univ. of Pennsylvania). Additionally, the U.S. Department of Justice reports that 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes. Father absence is also linked to drug use, with teens in single-mother households at a 30% higher risk for using chemical substances than teens in two-parent households. Research also shows that children with absent fathers are significantly more likely to drop out of high school (National Principals’ Association Report on the State of High Schools), and that children in single parent families are less likely than students living in intact families parents to have parents involved in their schools. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor. Additionally, when fathers are absent or uninvolved, mothers often experience more financial and emotional stresses, which may decrease their ability to parent effectively and lead to increased child abuse and neglect. A father’s presence in the home can help protect his children from maltreatment. While many fathers also perpetrate child abuse, research shows that the rates of child maltreatment (neglect, physical and sexual abuse), among single-parent families is almost double the rate among two-parent families (U.S. Department of Health and Human Services). Father involvement has also been shown to curb aggressive behaviour in boys while building self esteem in girls, particularly in puberty, when the teen’s self-confidence and sense of identity may be shaky. Studies show that teenage girls without fathers are twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as teenagers, than girls whose fathers are positively involved in their lives. While many mothers perform the role of ‘mom and dad’, fathers also bring important balance to children’s lives. The author of a study entitled, “The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children’, explains that “Fathers spend a much higher percentage of their one-on-one interaction with infants in stimulating, playful activity than do mothers. From these interactions, children learn how to regulate their feelings and behavior. Rough-housing with dad, for example, can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions…Fathers also tend to promote independence and an orientation to the outside world. Fathers often push achievement while mothers stress nurturing, both of which are important to healthy development”. The importance of a positive father figure in children’s lives cannot be overstated. Mothers are important – but fathers are important too! For too long our society has been limping along on the backs of the mothers and grandmothers, who carry the overwhelming weight of childrearing, and they are cracking under the weight. With only half of the parental support existing in many households, is it any wonder that our Federation is experiencing high rates of juvenile delinquency, gang violence, and teenage pregnancy? Many of our social problems will not improve until our tolerance of irresponsible fathers also changes. While it may take a concerted national effort (father’s groups, media campaigns) to change this culture, each one of us can also make a step towards change. This Father’s Day, as we celebrate our active fathers, let us also remind our inactive fathers about their importance in their children’s lives, and challenge them to be more involved, not just for the betterment of their children, but for the improvement of society as a whole. Each father should also make the individual commitment to make a positive difference in the lives of their children, starting today. It is never too early or late to do so! “LifeLines is a monthly column dedicated to addressing issues of mental, behavioural, and social health. The column appears on the 1st weekend of the month, and is written by professionals in the field of social work, mental health, and community medicine”.

St. Kitts-Nevis: Commentary.

I Love When Step Moms Speak Out!!! You Go Girl !!!

I was MEGA tempted

Submitted by crayon on Mon, 08/10/2009 – 8:02am.

to just throw away that football schedule complete with scripted notes from the two oldest skids!! I’m the one who gets the mail and does all the paperwork; bill paying, etc.

But I knew if I did it would come back to bite me in a serious way.

It’s like a breakup that never ends. Here the girhippo has told the older two (SS stb 13 and SS stb 11) LAST YEAR at this time that they don’t have to come to visitation; they proved they were only interested in ‘coming to collect’ xmas, b-day presents, etc.

So BF, being “one of those dads” that doesn’t want to FORCE his kids to come to visitation; let the older two OPT OUT. They were making demands of eating out at every meal, no chores, mall sprees, etc. and we just couldn’t do it money wise (the gir and slan bring home about three times the amount of money that we do plus they have no homeowner expenses b/c they rent a trailer)

So now this “teaser” to have him come to games and continue the manipulation really gets on my last nerve. It’s total manipulation b/c the gir KNOWS that BF LOVES sports and is very proud of his skid’s sports participation (to the complete abandonment of academics; all three skids make low “D”s and “F”s in all the “real” subjects)

The gir makes a PRETENSE of shared parenting and cooperation to all onlookers and I think this CRAP just continues the FARCE!

Ideally BF should hold her in contempt and exercise his parental rights to visitation, but he knows the gir would just wage war that much harder (she knows all the court officials, judges, school admins, etc. on a first name basis as she works for CPS and it’s her hometown)
She is determined to put him through hell for divorcing her and “abandoning” the children; oh how she LOVES to play the “victim.”

»

• crayon’s blog

seriously manipulator

Submitted by BitchBitchBarbie on Mon, 08/10/2009 – 8:05am.

I’m very proud of your restraint that you were able to keep from crumpling up that shit and throwing it in the garbage. I myself have been in that position of power and sometimes am not so successful! It never ceases to amaze me how much power the gir has. It boggles the mind.

The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~Edward, Duke of Windsor, Look, 5 March 1957

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The only thing that kept me from throwing it in the burn pile

Submitted by crayon on Mon, 08/10/2009 – 8:13am.

Was the odd chance that gir would test and say “did you get the schedule” If BF said “what schedule” then she would know I threw it out or am “screening” the mail.

Now mind you the gir has REFUSED our mail before. . .hmmmm

Reserve Capital Punishment for Guilt Parenting and PASinators

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• reply

Long as . . .

Submitted by vickmeister on Mon, 08/10/2009 – 9:05am.

you don’t have to go watch the games, it might be a good way to get DH and Droopy out of your hair if games fall on the Saturdays when you have him.

I remain, the world’s most evil stepmom; ask anyone.

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• reply

Well I like to show up sometimes

Submitted by crayon on Mon, 08/10/2009 – 9:14am.

Just to show that I’m in the picture STILL! The gir and skids would love nothing more than BF to dump me and start spending 100% on skids; problem is without my salary, BF wouldnt’ be able to afford the gas to get to said games.

They like the “look” of LONELY BF standing at the games and pining after his “long lost” children who demand the moon; you know the children he gave up because of being with “that whore” (aka ME!)

The gir has always forced the skids to choose either her and the slan or BF and me. She loves it when BF comes to the games by his lonesome so she can say to the skids “SEEEEE I told you daddy’s having a rough, lonely time right now and that whore doesn’t even care about your games!”

Reserve Capital Punishment for Guilt Parenting and PASinators

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• reply

Hmmm… is that manipulation I’m smelling?

Submitted by secondwife19 on Mon, 08/10/2009 – 9:18am.

It sure is.

Complete manipulation on Girhippo’s part, and BF is falling for it. He SHOULD fight for his visitation rights because by not doing so, it’s just showing Gir that she can walk all over him.

But I understand the whole BM having the court system wrapped around her slimy finger.

Warthog was able to put DH in jail by accusing him of running her over with the car. Actually what had happened was DH was driving BM back to her dad’s house and she jumped out the car because she didn’t wanted to go there. But since BM knows all the judges and every cop in town because I’m sure she’s given them a few sexual favors, they all listen to her side of the story and care not for DH’s.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” Dr. Seuss

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• reply

If I were BF I wouldnt’ go to the games because:

Submitted by crayon on Mon, 08/10/2009 – 11:04am.

1. BF wasn’t consulted about it

2. It’s wrong to enroll a girl (who isn’t athletic in the least) in boy’s football just for attention; she’s going to be a TARGET b/c she is VERY BOSSY and SARCASTIC!

3. The skids are on the verge of failing academics EVERY semester

4. They don’t want to come to visitation so basically they are getting quasi “visitation” on THEIR TERMS again

But meek little BF will go to the games like a lamb to the slaughter; too bad he doesn’t put his “foot down” with them as he ALWAYS is with ME!!!

Reserve Capital Punishment for Guilt Parenting and PASinators

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I was MEGA tempted | Step Talk.

Parental Rights – Obama Healthcare Bill to Take Away Parental Rights

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Dirty Secret No. 1 in Obamacare

by Chuck Norris

Health care reforms are turning into health care revolts. Americans are turning up the heat on congressmen in town hall meetings across the U.S.

While watching these political hot August nights, I decided to research the reasons so many are opposed to Obamacare to separate the facts from the fantasy. What I discovered is that there are indeed dirty little secrets buried deep within the 1,000-plus page health care bill.

Dirty secret No. 1 in Obamacare is about the government’s coming into homes and usurping parental rights over child care and development.

It’s outlined in sections 440 and 1904 of the House bill (Page 838), under the heading “home visitation programs for families with young children and families expecting children.” The programs (provided via grants to states) would educate parents on child behavior and parenting skills.

The bill says that the government agents, “well-trained and competent staff,” would “provide parents with knowledge of age-appropriate child development in cognitive, language, social, emotional, and motor domains … modeling, consulting, and coaching on parenting practices,” and “skills to interact with their child to enhance age-appropriate development.”

Are you kidding me?! With whose parental principles and values? Their own? Certain experts’? From what field and theory of childhood development? As if there are one-size-fits-all parenting techniques! Do we really believe they would contextualize and personalize every form of parenting in their education, or would they merely universally indoctrinate with their own?

Are we to assume the state’s mediators would understand every parent’s social or religious core values on parenting?

Or would they teach some secular-progressive and religiously neutered version of parental values and wisdom?

And if they were to consult and coach those who expect babies, would they ever decide circumstances to be not beneficial for the children and encourage abortions?

One government rebuttal is that this program would be “voluntary.” Is that right? Does that imply that this agency would just sit back passively until some parent needing parenting skills said, “I don’t think I’ll call my parents, priest or friends or read a plethora of books, but I’ll go down to the local government offices”? To the contrary, the bill points to specific targeted groups and problems, on Page 840: The state “shall identify and prioritize serving communities that are in high need of such services, especially communities with a high proportion of low-income families.”

Are we further to conclude by those words that low-income families know less about parenting? Are middle- and upper-class parents really better parents? Less neglectful of their children? Less needful of parental help and training? Is this “prioritized” training not a biased, discriminatory and even prejudicial stereotype and generalization that has no place in federal government, law or practice?

Bottom line: Is all this what you want or expect in a universal health care bill being rushed through Congress?

Do you want government agents coming into your home and telling you how to parent your children?

When did government health care turn into government child care?

Government needs less of a role in running our children’s lives and more of a role in supporting parents’ decisions for their children. Children belong to their parents, not the government. And the parents ought to have the right — and government support — to parent them without the fed’s mandates, education or intervention in our homes.

Kids are very important to my wife, Gena, and me. That’s why we’ve spent the past 17 years developing our nonprofit KICKSTART program in public schools in Texas. It builds up their self-esteem and teaches them respect and discipline. Of course, whether or not they participate in the program is their and their parents’ choice.

How contrary is Obamacare’s home intrusion and indoctrination family services, in which state agents prioritize houses to enter and enforce their universal values and principles upon the hearts and minds of families across America?

Government’s real motives and rationale are quite simple, though rarely, if ever, stated. If one wants to control the future ebbs and flows of a country, one must have command over future generations.

That is done by seizing parental and educational power, legislating preferred educational methods and materials, and limiting private educational options. It is so simple that any socialist can understand it. As Josef Stalin once stated, “Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed.”

Before so-called universal health care turns into universal hell care, write or call your representative today and protest his voting Obamacare into law. Remind him that what is needed in Washington is a truly bipartisan group that is allowed an ample amount of time to work on a compromise health care law that wouldn’t raise taxes (for anyone), regulate personal medical choices, ration health care or restrict American citizens.

Chuck Norris is a columnist and impossible to kill.

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Feminists endowed with a superiority complex

August 11, 2009

Feminists endowed with a superiority complex

By Carey Roberts

Taking the oath to “do equal right to the poor and to the rich,” Sonia Sotomayor was finally sworn in as the first Latina on the U.S. Supreme Court. No sooner had the kerfuffle surrounding her “wise Latina” remark subsided, when Carol Smith saw fit to pen this wise verdict in the New York Times: “In my experience, female bosses tend to be better managers, better advisers, mentors, rational thinkers.”

Not to be outdone, last week NPR analyst Cokie Roberts opined in the Washington Post, “Women tend to be a lot more commonsensical than men are” and admitted to hectoring her husband that “Men are just lesser beings.”

Call it whatever you want — female empowerment, turning the tables, girls letting off a little steam, whatever — it’s time to blow the whistle on feminist-inspired misandry.

For decades, male-bashing has been deemed an amusing side show in the Battle of the Sexes. Some consider it funny when an advertisement depicts a man maimed by his girlfriend. Others will say an abused man simply had it coming. (Think former NFL star Steve McNair, shot four times in his sleep by a jealous girlfriend — but no one could bring themselves to call it “domestic violence.”)

In recent years, gender supremacism has entered the mainstream of political discourse. Former Congresswoman Barbara Jordan of Texas once declared, “I believe that women have a capacity for understanding and compassion which a man structurally does not have.”

And consider Hillary Clinton’s remark, “Research shows the presence of women raises the standards of ethical behavior and lowers corruption.” Thank goodness we have ethical paragons like Hillary to show us out of the wilderness.

Sometimes pronouncements of women-as-uber-species approach the point of logical absurdity. Appearing on NPR radio, Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona once gushed that women “get so much done because we make lists.” Somehow that sounds like the freakish musings of an obsessive-compulsive, not the reflections of a person trying to make the world a kinder, gentler place.

A February 5 editorial in the Christian Science Monitor announced grandly that “a woman leader governs differently than a man, bringing new perspectives and helping other women.”

I’m sure that came as a surprise to the men who worked long and hard to enact Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and a bevy of other programs that primarily benefit women.

Sometimes the gender supremacists get downright ugly, lapsing into demagoguery to cast men as abusers, deadbeats, and batterers. If you want a real eye-opener, take a look at University of Michigan Catherine McKinnon’s writings. And don’t forget Valerie Solanas’ SCUM (Society for Cutting up Men) Manifesto.

Not all academics are enamored of the feminist antics. Professors Paul Nathanson and Katherine Young of McGill University have written two scholarly tomes that probe the feminist dystopia. Their first book, Spreading Misandry: The Teaching of Contempt for Men in Popular Culture, lamentably concludes “men are society’s official scapegoats and [should be] held responsible for all evil, including that done by the women they have deluded or intimidated.”

Their second work, Legalizing Misandry: From Public Shame to Systematic Discrimination Against Men, reveals how feminists have capitalized on their disdain for men to reshape policies in such wide-ranging areas as marriage, divorce, custody, and even employment.

Case in point is the recent revelation that President Obama’s stimulus plan is skewed to favor women, even though men in the manufacturing and construction industries have been hit hardest: www.renewamerica.com/columns/roberts/090723 .

America has a courageous record of drawing on our traditional notions of fairness and justice to confront supremacists in our midst. We have faced down the bigots, the xenophobes, left-wing fascists, and race-baiters.

Now we must come to terms with the dark side of modern feminism, a movement that fosters contempt and scorn for men.

© Carey Roberts

Feminists endowed with a superiority complex.