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Posts Tagged ‘Parental Alienationn Syndrome’

Parental Alienation and Borderline Dichotomous Thinking

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Domestic Violence, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, parental alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, Parentectomy, Protective Parents, Restraining Orders on November 4, 2009 at 1:22 am

Parents who are reasonable, adaptable and practice Analogous Thinking have no problem functioning in the world either as a married or divorced parents.

It is only parents who are mentally ill, who think in terms of black and white, good and evil, that cause most of the problems, not only for their children and the ex-spouse, but ultimately for themselves. Courts systems prey on such people whos only thought process is its “my way or the highway” that keeps the problem going.

I found the following below under Borderline Personality Disorder, which is one of the core components of Parental Alienation Syndrome, and thought I would point out why Alienating Parents are such Abusers.

From: http://bpd.about.com/od/glossary/g/dichot.htm

Dichotomous thinking is also sometimes called “black or white thinking.” This is when someone is only able to see the extremes of a situation, and is unable to see the “gray areas” or complexities of the situation. For example, a student who engages in dichotomous thinking may believe that if they don’t get an “A” in class then they have failed.

Dichotomous thinking is a very common problem in people with borderline personality disorder (BPD). In this disorder, people tend to see themselves, others, and the world as either “all good” or “all bad.” Dichotomous thinking in BPD is linked to splitting behavior.”

Also Known As: black or white thinking

Analagous Thinking

from: http://www.cdtl.nus.edu.sg/brief/v5n4/sec3.asp
“Higher order thinking requires the manipulation of ideas and information in ways that derive new implications and meaning or modify existing ones. Through such processes as combining ideas and facts to hypothesise, generalise, synthesise, explain and arrive at interpretations or conclusions, students can be led to discover new meanings and solve problems. This article briefly presents, discusses and gives examples of strategies for developing analogous, sequential and interpersonal thinking, three higher order thinking skills (Senge, et al., 2000) which need to be nurtured because they are essential to individual holistic development.1

Analogous thinking begins to develop at a young age and involves comparisons and analogies among separate events. Sequential thinking emerges later when patterns are discerned between events and is commonly applied in mathematical questions involving numbers and patterns in series. Interpersonal thinking, the highest order of these three skills, involves individual personal and social development.

To enhance the development of thinking skills, educators need to provide students with a plethora of application opportunities during lessons and assignments. Doing so not only broadens horizons but also simultaneously helps to develop multiple perspectives. Moreover, the crux of this learning involves a transformation of the way in which learning occurs. In higher education, students should be provided with opportunities to make connections between different events and situations in order to nurture emotional as well as cognitive capabilities.

Efforts should also be made to build the confidence needed for effective interactions with people who have an even wider variety of attitudes, backgrounds and opinions. In a nutshell, students need support, motivation and tangible as well as intangible rewards for continually increasing their abilities to cope with and, indeed, conquer complex situations and problems as needed. So, how is this done? More specifically, what strategies can nurture these thinking skills? “e

Parental alienation hurts a child mostly

In Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, Marriage, Non-custodial fathers, Non-custodial mothers, parental alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, parental rights, Parentectomy, Parents rights, Restraining Orders on August 9, 2009 at 3:43 pm

by Corinne Fronterro

I debated writing about this controversial issue. Yet, as a former Divorce Support Group Facilitator I felt it an important enough reality to shed some light upon: What is Parental alienation a/k/a divorce poison?  Parental alienation is defined as:  “any behavior by a parent, . . . whether conscious or unconscious, that    could  create alienation in the relationship between a child and the other parent.” 

See en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation. Another website article clarifies that “This occurs often but not always in the context of post divorce custody disputes and litigation.”  See the Childrens’ Rights Council, www.crckids.org/.

We are further enlightened that such behavior is a “form of relational aggression by one parent against the other parent using their common children.”  Bottom line, however, the person that suffers mostly, is the child. 

Concrete evidence exists in Wikipedia’s webpage quote: “. . . ongoing parental alienation can cause terrible psychological damage to children extending well into adulthood.”

Richard A. Warshak, author and Psychologist, is a well noted authority on the matter of Divorce Poison.  He states that “Unfortunately, divorce poison is common.  Every parent has said or done something he/she later regrets . . . ”  He quotes the pending statistics for us “. . . in half of divorces, this goes beyond bad-mouthing, and in one of four divorces, the negativity is very severe.”  He has written a very resourceful tool, entitled Divorce Poison, on how to refute being a victim not only as a parent, but as a litigant through the legal system. 

I am familiar with this book and am quite confident that it also appears on the shelves of most counselors within the judicial system.  That’s how popular the book is, frankly.  For further reviews on the book and a direct link to CBS’s interview of Dr. Warshak , please see the For more info: section provided below.

Regarding the signs of divorce poison, Warshak tells us how to tell when your child is being exposed to divorce poison: He indicates you should watch for the following behaviors from a child:

  • Shy to show affection.  The child does not want to hug or kiss you in front of your ex and/or doesn’t tell you about the good times he had with your ex.
  • Refers to you by first name.
  • Shows less respect.
  • Mimics adult complaints.

As clarified in my last article Do you have an emotional divorce?, it takes an adult 2 to 2 1/2 years to fully process a divorce.  Warshak recognizes the time perameters of this grieving process, as well, and states it is important to note, “. . . children may display any one of these behaviors immediately following a divorce” and he cautions ” so don’t overact”.  Yet, he sets the following criteria as a standard, though, when he states “However, parents should worry when the behaviors become extreme or don’t subside.”

While teenagers are typically  very egocentric and tend to be somewhat disengaged more so from parental conflict, there are news stories, nonetheless, telling of situations where long term victims having reached young adulthood have, in the end, removed themselves from parents and “focused their cares and concerns on the care and welfare of younger siblings.”  See, www.thestar.com/article/599359.  Fortunately, programs, such as Child in the Middle, have been developed to address problematic issues when they first arise.  Having facilitated this program, I would highly recommend its’ purchase and implementation to both local counseling agencies and those nationwide.

Some feel this is a growing problem within our society.  More distressing, however, is the notion that “Children caught in the middle of such conflicts suffer severe losses of love, respect and peace during their formative years.”  [Emphasis added].  With a duo specialty in both psychology and the legal profession and having acted as a Liaison to our local Circuit Court’s Family Law Division and the C.A.R.E. Agency of Macomb County, I would have to say that truly both professions are attempting to work closely to remedy this rising concern and help families overcome this divorce obstacle.

“A wise man sees his own faults, a courageous one corrects them.”, THE ESSENCE OF TAO.

For more info: http://www.momjunction.com/Members/JournalActions.aspx?g=247162&m=3933956, for books reviews on Divorce Poison; & http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/02/01/earlyshow/saturday/main327911.shtml.

Parental alienation hurts a child mostly.