mkg4583

Posts Tagged ‘Dads’

‘My dad was my best friend, and I was Daddy’s Girl…My dad’s love was the most powerful I’ve ever witnessed’ :: Glenn Sacks on MND

In Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, Glenn Sacks, Marriage on August 7, 2009 at 1:00 am

‘My dad was my best friend, and I was Daddy’s Girl…My dad’s love was the most powerful I’ve ever witnessed’

kaitlyn-bouchard“Losing my dad was the most devastating experience I’ve ever had to deal with…I would not be the person I am today if he was never a part of my life…He will forever be my hero.”

The National Students of AMF (deceased or “Ailing Mothers, Fathers,” or loved ones) Support Network is an organization dedicated to supporting college students coping with the illness or death of a loved one and empowering all college students to fight back against terminal illness.

Recently Kaitlyn Bouchard (pictured), a student and Chapter President at the University of Rhode Island, submitted a piece about her father to the National Students of AMF forum. She wrote:

Before I entered first grade, my parents divorced. I was young and didn’t really understand the new life I was thrown into. My mom and I moved out, and I was only able to see my dad every other weekend. I had been used to not seeing my dad very often, as he had been in the Navy. He eventually left the service to watch me grow up.

Being able to only spend time with my dad on the weekends, we would make the most out of it – we went to amusement parks, played mini golf, and we’d make midnight runs for snacks. My dad was my best friend, and I was Daddy’s Girl. We’d parade around town in matching sweatshirts, and go to the local diner on Sunday’s for breakfast. My dad even helped make the other kids at school jealous by sending gorgeous flowers to my classroom every Valentine’s Day.

My dad’s love for me has come to be the most powerful love I’ve ever witnessed. Only, I had no idea that this would all end before I even turned twelve years old.

Most of my time was spent living with my mom. One night in May 2002, mom had to do something no parent should ever have to. Just past 3AM, she opened my bedroom door and woke me up. Tears filled her eyes as she told me “Dad had a heart attack”. At that moment, I became wide awake and asked, “What hospital is he at? Mom took a moment to answer before saying “He’s in Heaven.”

It’s been seven years since that day. Losing my dad was the most devastating experience I’ve ever had to deal with. It was so completely unexpected and sudden. But I know for a fact I would not be the person I am today if he was never a part of my life. He taught me many valuable lessons, and even though I only knew him for eleven years I am so thankful that he was my dad. He will forever be my hero…

Read the full piece here.

Help, Resources for Dads
The National Fathers’ Resource Center is a division of Fathers For Equal Rights, Inc. (FER), located in Dallas, Texas, with offices in both Dallas and Ft. Worth. In existence for over three decades, it has services and resources for dads nationwide and is one of the largest and most active fathers’ rights organizations in the U.S. www.fathers4kids.org

Stumble It!

‘My dad was my best friend, and I was Daddy’s Girl…My dad’s love was the most powerful I’ve ever witnessed’ :: Glenn Sacks on MND.

Advertisements

Why teenage children don’t get on with their father’s new wives | Vanguard News

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Support, Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, Department of Social Servies, Divorce, family court, Family Court Reform, fatherlessness, fathers rights, Marriage, motherlessness, mothers rights, Non-custodial fathers, Non-custodial mothers on July 26, 2009 at 5:58 pm

Why teenage children don’t get on with their father’s new wives

By Bunmi Sofola

THE horrors of divorce, once dubbed the modern epidemic, are nothing compared with  the nightmare of constantly living with the evidence that the parents who’d painstakingly drummed moral values into you are afterall not infallible. Divorce, though painful is at least cut and dried. The end of a marriage is imminent, children, thank heavens, are resilient and adaptable to change.

After the initial blow of divorce, provided that the parents behave in a civilized manner and don’t fight for their children’s affection or grumble about each other, there can be some very satisfying compromise. Not so with polygamy. Polygamy in the sense that you give your wife and children the false impression of a monogamous marriage, then spring polygamy on them. Even the law of the land is very straight-forward as to the legal rights of polygamous wives.

The husband is to start as he means to go on. If you want a polygamous marriage, the first and subsequent wives are to be married under the native law and customs. And initial court marriage makes the addition of more wives illegal. But of course, we know all this is hot air. Backed by the impotence of our judicial system when matrimony is concerned, a lot of men please themselves forcing their wives to live under the most impossible condition, after they’re brought in other ‘wives.’ Admittedly such wives stay for one reason or the other. But what about the children of such an alliance? After living with a set of parents for 15, 20 years, how do they react to the entrance of second and third wives and their staying under the same roof? And sharing all the amenities in the home?

Fadake an 18-year old undergraduate said her parents had been married for 14 years when she started noticing that things were no longer the same at home with their parents. “It started with constant muffled quarrels in their bedroom,” related Fadake. “But they both usually come out pretending that we children, four in all, didn’t know what was going on. I guess they imagine they can cover up their rows and frictions by putting on false smiles and forcing us kids to accept all the unlikely excuses they gave us for their odd behavior.

“Shortly after this bickering, my father got promoted to a post that went with a company house and other fringe benefits. We had a gardener, a cook, a steward and the news that knocked us out cold – someone was expecting a baby for my father, and horror of horrors, she was moving into the house. I couldn’t believe it.

Couldn’t believe the fact that a father who’d been ruthlessly strict with us would dare to flaunt his shortcomings in our presence. But that was exactly what he did. This woman was then installed in the guest chalet. “All of a sudden, we were made to live with this horrid looking woman with a bulging stomach. My mother was positively embarrassed; ashamed is the right word. I promptly discouraged my friends from visiting the house and all the affection I had for my father flew out of the window. Our youngest, who was ten at the time was bewildered and hostile. She was positively nasty to the new wife and when she thought nobody was looking, would sneak up to her and snarl: “Go away, I hate you!” “It was my mother I felt sorry for.

She too stopped encouraging her friends to drop by to stop them gloating over her ridiculous status. That happened about two years ago. I was before then foolishly hanging on to my virginity, but that was quickly remedied, thank to my father. If he could stray, so could I. I know the importance of good education and that is what I am going to get. Even now, I still can’t get over the fact that my father could be so callous, so unfeeling in the way he treated his family for that thing he called a second wife. I used to love him, you know. But now, I don’t give a damn if I never saw him again…….”

Apinke came from a polygamous  home. At 34, she was already the mother of an eight-years old from a marriage that hit the rock barely a year after she tied the knot. A personal assistant to the managing director of a pharmaceutical company, she met a lot of men in her job. Not all of them wanted a permanent commitment until she met Supo, a 45-year old owner of a very flourishing electronics company. He was already married of course with six children, and six months after Apinke met him, she was pregnant. She wanted more children of course and since she lived in a very comfortable flat, she thought her lover would just take over the responsibilities of a husband and let her stay where she was.

“I was wrong”said Apinke. “He wanted a second wife and was determined that I should live with his family with my daughter. My daughter was horror stricken when I told her. She wept that she didn’t want to live with anybody else but my man was not moved. In the end, we married under native law and customs and I moved into a flat in his house. “His first child, who was about 16 at the time, was very hostile to me. She treated me as something unpleasant the dog dragged in. His five other children simply ignored me and my poor daughter was more miserable than ever.

My friends, seeing the     unhealthy atmosphere  under which we lived; simply stopped coming. His first wife always had a cynical know-it-all-look whenever she saw my friends and had referred to them as prostitutes on several occasions. “My husband wasn’t always around and whenever I dared to complain, he always told me to be more tolerant. He had changed too. Now that I was safely in his net, he didn’t care as he once used to.

I had two boys for him then I left. His first daughter’s hatred for me was worse than her mother’s jealousy. Whenever she had friends around, she insulted me indirectly through them. She refuses to acknowledge my presence anywhere and regarded me with contempt. It was a relief when I  finally decided  to pack my bags and leave. My daughter was overjoyed. You know, even now, wherever I  run into my husband’s daughter (my stepdaughter really, though I could never see her that way) she would look at me mockingly and make rude faces at me!

“Some men could be quite insensitive about throwing two warring wives together. No one really likes a live-in-rival but in their anxiety that all their children should live under the same roof, a lot of men stoke the fire of bitterness and resentment within the family they are trying to keep together. When a man married the first time, that’s love”, someone once said. “When he marries a second time, that’s courage.” And Lord knows you need a lot of courage to cope with two or more women.

Why teenage children don’t get on with their father’s new wives | Vanguard News.

Why I (and, I suspect, many separated women) regret divorcing | Mail Online

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, Civil Rights, Divorce, family court, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fatherlessness, fathers rights, Marriage, National Parents Day, Non-custodial fathers, Non-custodial mothers on July 16, 2009 at 10:14 pm

By Jane Gordon

Last updated at 10:57 PM on 16th July 2009

Last weekend, at a family wedding in the country, I was overwhelmed by an emotion that has, in the last year, become only too familiar to me.

Sitting in a stifling marquee, listening to my cousin Sally’s husband making the traditional father-of-the-bride speech, I was overcome by a feeling that was part envy, part guilt and part regret.

My cousin’s marriage, which has lasted for 25 years, is by no means perfect – what marriage is? – but against the odds, she has achieved something that is now, and always will be, beyond my grasp.

A lost life: Jane Gordon with her husband and son in 1999, before her divorce

A lost life: Jane Gordon with her husband and son in 1999, before her divorce

As I looked at her sitting happy and radiant at the top table, laughing uproariously at her husband’s far from funny jokes, I realised that, in a world that has horribly devalued the institution of marriage, she was reaping the benefits of putting the love and security of her family first, before any disagreements she might have with her husband in the rough and tumble of daily life.

Watching her united with her husband on such an emotional occasion reminded me sharply of exactly what I had lost – but had no idea I was losing – seven years ago, when I got divorced from my husband, the father of my three children, after 25 years together.

Our relationship had broken down, I can now see, not because of any petty irritations such as his lateness or my untidiness, but because we had both moved irrevocably away from each other.

In the past few years of our marriage, I was more absorbed in my children and my career than I was in my husband while he, feeling increasingly isolated, simply switched off.

It’s a scenario that will be familiar to many couples. But how many of them choose to separate, and how many have the gumption to stick it out?

The trouble is nobody tells you the truth about divorce. They tell you it’s a ‘difficult’ experience, and it’s generally accepted that the process sits somewhere near the top of the ten most stressful life events.

‘No one ever points out that the repercussions of a marital split will reverberate down the timeline of your life forever’

But in the main it is regarded by society as a necessary evil. A milestone which, in an age when two in five UK marriages will fail, millions of us will go through at some point in our lives.

Indeed, in many ways, divorce is given a more positive spin in our confused modern world than marriage is.

The drawbacks of divorce are believed to be mostly either financial – as if the splitting up of the spoils of a life together were the very worst part of the process – or the fallout experienced by the children.

Little is ever said about the longer-term effects of divorce on the couple. No one ever points out that the repercussions of a marital split will reverberate down the timeline of your life forever.

This week, the Conservatives published a report commissioned by Iain Duncan Smith which proposed a three-month ‘cooling off’ period for couples considering divorce.

But the idea that couples would be ready to rethink their break-up after such a short period is unrealistic.

Change in family dynamics: Jane and her family before the divorce, now special occasions involve jugging the needs of her step family as well

Change in family dynamics: Jane and her family before the divorce, now special occasions involve jugging the needs of her step family as well

As I have discovered the hard way, it is only now, seven years after I received my decree nisi, that I am starting to realise the gravity of what I have done.

If it has taken me this long for the seismic shockwaves of divorce to really hit home, how are warring couples expected to take an informed decision about separation when they are in the midst of the rows, the tension and the recrimination that so often accompany the death throes of a marriage?

It is only now that I am experiencing something akin to the seven-year ‘itch’ of marriage; the seven-year ‘ache’ of divorce, a regular recurrence of the emotion I experienced at that recent wedding – a pang, a regret for what has gone for ever.

There is much in my post-divorced life that I am grateful for and happy about. I have gained a new partner and two stepchildren, and our ‘blended’ family is more harmonious than anyone could have expected.

My ex-husband, who is a media consultant, has ‘moved on’ to a perfectly ordered and elegant bachelor apartment and a social life (with a series of ever-younger girlfriends) that is the envy of his old married friends.

On the surface, we have ‘come through’ our split relatively unscathed. But however contented I might be with my new partner Robin – and he with me – we realise that our relationship is, well, somehow second-best.

‘I had no idea of the true complexity of unravelling a life that had been led in tandem with someone else for more than 20 years’

Our true loyalties lie not with our new ‘blended’ family, but with our own biological children and the ex-partners from whom we were both amicably divorced.

The important occasions in family life which I used to love – birthdays, Christmas and so on – are now difficult, trying times.

They are unsatisfactory no matter how hard we try; whether my partner and I attempt – as we have on several occasions – to unite our new and old lives or agree to simply be apart for the ‘sake’ of our children.

Now, for example, we spend Christmas apart – each ensconced with our children and ex-partners – which causes huge tension between us and has made us both dread the annual celebrations.

When my husband and I parted, my view of divorce was simplistic. I believed in the notion of divorce as a clean break and imagined a ‘fresh start’ would solve all my problems.

It wasn’t a decision made lightly, but I had no idea of the true complexity of unravelling a life that had been led in tandem with someone else for more than 20 years.

It was the death of my parents, within six months of each other in 2008, that was the catalyst for my change of heart.

At my father’s funeral, my brother made a moving address about the formidable achievements of an extraordinary man. He concluded that the greatest achievement of all was his remarkable partnership – over 60 years – with my mother.

Ashley and Cheryl Cole

Still going strong: Jane admires women like Cheryl Cole who can get past their husband’s infidelity for an enduring marriage

The fact that I had not been able to give my own children the security that I had taken for granted shamed and upset me almost as much as the loss of my adored parents.

My children hadn’t lost their parents when my husband and I divorced, but they had lost their family home and the continuity of family life that makes the journey from childhood to adulthood so much more comforting and secure.

It was at that funeral that I first experienced the feeling – part envy, part guilt and part regret – that has haunted me ever since.

With my new partner sympathetically sitting by my side and my ex-husband (who shared so much of my family history and yet had somehow been edited out of it), standing in the gallery, I truly understood what I had lost.

And there have been countless other moments in the past year when I have experienced similar feelings.

Last month, I attended a dinner party thrown by a close female friend whose own marriage had shifted perilously close to the edge of divorce, shortly after mine did, because her husband had an affair.

At the time of my break-up, my view of other people’s marriages was as skewed as my view of my own, and I viewed her reluctance to divorce in a cynical way – imagining that her main motivation was her fear of losing her status as a married woman.

‘It is impossible to go back, but at the same time my divorce makes it difficult for me to move forward’

But I now see there was a much more selfless reason for her tenacity. Because a marriage, however imperfect, isn’t just important in the happy moments of life – a child’s graduation or wedding for example – but also in the bad times.

Shortly after my friend and her errant husband were reunited, he lost his high-flying City job and he now admits that it would not have been possible for him to recover from that (they started a successful new business together) without her love and support.

Their relationship has changed – my friend admits that she is still wounded by his infidelity – but losing her trust in him for a time is nothing to what she would have lost had she gone ahead with her divorce.

Back then, I couldn’t understand her ability to accept his behaviour. But now I have nothing but admiration for the way she was able to take a longer view of her own marriage.

Indeed, I have a similar sense of admiration and e

nvy for a handful of other still-married friends whose relationships I had viewed somewhat cynically because they displayed such open animosity towards each other.

A good marriage – I now realise – is dependent upon the ability of both partners occasionally to be selfless and to compromise.

It is, of course, ironic that divorce has strengthened my belief in marriage. But then the years haven’t just changed my view of divorce; they have inevitably blurred my memory of the reasons for our split.

Somewhere in my new home there is a large brown envelope filled with the reasons why we parted, duly noted down by lawyers, but the passage of time has made those mutually exasperating irritations seem petty.

In 2002, they were real and seemingly insurmountable. Had someone told me the truth about divorce then – explained exactly how, in the years ahead, it would impact on my life – perhaps we would still be together.

WEDDING SCENE SHOWING BRIDE AND GROOM

I do two? Jane is unsure whether she will marry her new partner due to the scars left by the failure of her first marriage (file photo)

It is impossible to go back, but at the same time my divorce makes it difficult for me to move forward.

Maybe one day my new partner and I will marry, but the impact of our break-ups – he divorced several years before me – has so far prevented us from making a legal commitment to each other.

Our mutual fears that re-marriage will somehow invalidate our original families, and his concerns about the financial loss he would endure should our marriage subsequently break down, make the notion of a wedding unlikely.

But my divorce hasn’t just had a major impact on the likelihood of re-marrying. I worry, too, that it has affected my children’s view of marriage.

Will the repercussions of my break-up not only reverberate down the timeline of my life but also the timelines of my children’s lives?

My daughters were 19 and 22 when I divorced and my son, who lives with me, was just ten.

Seven years on, my daughters are both much more focused on their careers than their love-lives, and show no sign of settling down in the way that my cousin Sally’s daughter – several years younger – has done.

The long-term effects of my divorce, then, may not only deny me the opportunity to be a bride again and thus, in some way, legitimise my new relationship in the eyes of the world.

But they also could prevent me from being the mother-of-the-bride and – ultimately – a grandmother.

To paraphrase William Congreve’s famous quote: ‘Divorce in haste, repent at leisure.’

Why I (and, I suspect, many separated women) regret divorcing | Mail Online.

Kids see new man as threat to what’s left of their family unit | Robin Anderson | Columnists | Life | Winnipeg Sun

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Support, children legal status, Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, deadbeat dads, Divorce, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, due process rights, family court, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fatherlessness, fathers rights, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, Marriage, motherlessness, mothers rights, Non-custodial fathers, Non-custodial mothers on July 16, 2009 at 9:33 pm

Kids see new man as threat to what’s left of their family unit

Dear Robin

I have been divorced for a couple of years now. Six months ago, I met a very nice man who I have been seeing. The problem is that my kids (nine and 12) refuse to accept him. They haven’t had a problem with other men I dated, but really seem to dislike Bob. He is very nice to them and has kids of his own who he brings with him. They get along well, but no matter what Bob does, he can’t seem to win my kids over. Why are they acting like this, and what can I do about it?

Kid Fears

Dear Kid Fears

Divorce is hard on everyone involved, but especially on children. Having been a child of divorce at a very young age, and becoming a stepmom myself, I may not be an expert, but I do know a thing or two about this.

For starters, tell Bob to stop trying to woo your children. He isn’t going to get anywhere putting on the game face and trying to get in their good graces. Tell him to be himself, and your children will come to accept him when they are ready. They are likely upset because they see things getting more serious with you two, and probably view him as a direct threat to what is left of their family unit.

Someone else coming into the picture all nice and then trying to take on a parental role is usually met with disdain at best. Your children are at an age where they are old enough to understand what is going on, but not fully, and will have problems dealing with it. Talk to your children about how they are feeling, and find out the reasons behind the dislike.

You know your children and will be able to tell if there is anything credible behind the feelings, or if they are just upset over the relationship. Tell them — like everyone else says — that he is not there to take the place of their father. If you are open and honest with them, they will trust you and come to you. If you ignore or downplay the issue and things get really serious with Bob, be prepared for war of the worlds when the truth comes out. Involve your children (and his) in discussions and some decisions. This will help them feel that they are an important part of both of your lives. It is a great thing that all the children get along, but this could also change when things get more serious, so prepare yourselves just in case. Good luck. I know it isn’t easy.

Dear Robin:

Like the recent column about the daughter finishing college, my son also recently finished school, also lives at home for free and his step-dad and I paid for his education. He recently started talking about getting a car, but here’s the catch: he expects us to buy it for him and pay for the insurance until he “gets on his feet.” He says that all his buddies have had cars since they were 16, but we told him when he was younger that he had a choice of a car at 16 or we pay for his schooling and he picked the schooling. How do we deal with this? Should we get him a car? He does need a way to get to work, after all.

Stranded at the wheel

Dear Stranded at the wheel:

I can understand that your son needs to get on his feet and get used to the working world. I get that. How did he get to school though? If he was using public transit, chances are he can do that for work for the first little while.

I normally wouldn’t have a problem helping him find a car, or even helping him out with it to get him going. It is the part where you said he “expects it” that got me going. He made the choice to let you pay for school, probably thinking you would forget about the agreement. If he really needs a car to get around, you could definitely help him find something affordable and work out a payment plan. Hearing his attitude, I don’t think you would be benefiting him if you just handed him a set of keys. I know there are parents out there who will vehemently disagree with me, but to each their own.

Robin Anderson is the winner of Sun Media’s national advice competition.

Send questions to advice@sunmedia.ca and read her online at canoe.ca/advice.

Kids see new man as threat to what’s left of their family unit | Robin Anderson | Columnists | Life | Winnipeg Sun.

On Disney, Daughters, and Dads

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Support, Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, Divorce, family court, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fatherlessness, fathers rights, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, Parentectomy, Parents rights on July 13, 2009 at 8:47 pm

by Michael J. Corso, Ph.D.

Once upon a time, in the land of Disney movies, if there was a daughter, there was no Dad. Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Snow White’s fathers are all more or less absent. In these popular tales, we meet young, fatherless women who are poisoned in spirit and body by some older, jealous witch-like woman. I have been wondering what message these movies communicate to my two daughters and their friends. Watching Disney’s recent feature length animated movies also made me curious as to whether there has been an evolution in the stories Disney is telling. These movies speak to us gathered around glowing screens the way myths spoke to our ancestors sitting around the embers of a fire. They represent archetypes of men and women, sons and daughters, fathers and mothers.

In that light, the tales above tell of the struggle between mother and maturing daughter in the absence of the father. Though the older female is usually a step, protecting us as in a dream from direct association with the biological mother, these stories animate an accurate, albeit fairy-tale version of the “traditional” family. A father away from his castle, a mother in charge at home, a daughter struggling toward independence while keeping house as little girls should. What is most distressing about these young women and the view objectionable today, is that each seems powerless to improve her situation.

Sleeping Beauty is, well… asleep. Utterly passive, her only hope is for the prince to arrive, slay the witch, and kiss Rose into arousal. The man has female fairies helping out, but he is clearly the hero. Cinderella, at least, is awake. She even has a helpful fairy godmother (the good side of the mother?). When she is imprisoned, however, Jacque and Gus-Gus, both mice and both male, heroically get the key and free her. The prince then completely liberates her by marrying her. Snow White, winner of several Oscars, will perhaps not win any awards in the “Best Female Role Model” category. Here is a woman mindlessly keeping house for not one, but seven men. The dwarves go whistling off to work every day and combined they make one dutiful, though moody, husband. Snow White’s hoped for her Prince comes and, though she is unconscious, he wakes her with a kiss so they can live happily ever after.

To read the rest of the story, click the link below:

On Disney, Daughters, and Dads.

Dads’ Presence Help Prevent Teen Girls from Having Sex

In Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Support, children legal status, children's behaviour, Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, CPS, deadbeat dads, Department of Social Servies, Divorce, Domestic Relations, family court, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fatherlessness, fathers rights, federal crimes, Feminism, Freedom, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, Liberty, Marriage, Non-custodial fathers, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, Parental Rights Amendment, Parentectomy, Parents rights, Restraining Orders on July 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm

From HealthNewsDigest.com

Guest Columnist
By Mary Jo Rapini

Guest Columnist
Jun 8, 2009 – 12:11:50 PM

(HealthNewsDigest.com) – This month all of my blogs are focused on you dads. I think your presence is so important to your daughters in almost every aspect of their life. We know that one out of six girls—ages 12 to 18—take a vow not to have premarital sex. However, 90% of those girls will break that vow and engage in sex. If dad is present in the home and engaged with his daughter it is more likely that she will not have sex before the age of 18. Dads who are involved with their daughters will offer their daughter a male’s perspective and become a role model. Dads usually are responsible for playing physical activities with their daughters. Games like catch, tag, and basketball may change allow your daughter to play sports in school and being physically active. Girls who are more physically active feel more confident about their bodies and are less likely to get pregnant, drop out of school, or put up with abusive boyfriends.

Girls who have a dad in the home don’t feel the need to be promiscuous to go out and attract a boyfriend. They don’t need a boy because their dad is usually the first member of the opposite sex they will seek for knowledge or understanding about guy relationships.

Every dad who has a daughter realizes how dangerous the world can be for a woman. They also know they cannot protect their daughters or shelter them from all harm. Talking to your daughters about this and setting an example for them (in regards to how a man should treat them and what respect feels like) is a lesson your daughter will use to judge every man she encounters. Limiting pornographic literature in the home as well as celebrity magazines that glorify women as sex objects is one of the single most helpful methods. This will help your daughter understand that her body is not to be used or touched by anyone else until she is mature enough to enter a relationship where possible consequences can be dealt with and talked about.

The number one way dads help prevent teen sex before the age of eighteen is to take her desire to wear a purity or promise ring seriously. Ask what a purity/promise ring means to her. Ask her how you can help. For more information go to my “Girls Corner Page” on my web site http://www.maryjorapini.com

To your daughter you are the greatest man she has ever known. Every man she encounters after you will be compared to you for better or worse. Are you being the man/dad you want to be?

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC, is featured on TLC’s new series, Big Medicine which completed season one and two. She is also a contributing expert for Cosmopolitan magazine, Women’s Health, First, and Seventeen magazine. Mary Jo writes her own column (Note to Self) in the Houston Chronicle and “Ask Mary Jo” in Houston Family Magazine. She is an intimacy and sex counselor, and specializes in relationships. She is a popular speaker across the nation, with multiple repeat requests to serve as key-note speaker for national conferences. Her dynamic style is particularly engaging for those dealing with intimacy issues and relationship challenges, or those simply hanging on to unasked questions about sex in relationships. She was recently a major participant in a symposium for young girls dealing with body image and helping girls become strong women. Rapini is the author of Is God Pink? Dying to Heal and co-author of Start Talking: A Girl’s Guide for You and Your Mom about Health, Sex or Whatever. She has appeared on television programs including Montel, Fox Morning News and various Houston television and radio programs. Keep up with the latest advice at Mary Jo Rapini

Subscribe to our FREE Ezine and be eligible for Health News, discounted products/services and coupons related to your Health. We publish 24/7.
HealthNewsDigest.com

© Copyright by HealthNewsDigest.com

Dads’ Presence Help Prevent Teen Girls from Having Sex.

Families without Fathers by David Popenoe – New Book

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, California Parental Rights Amendment, Child Custody, Child Support, child trafficking, children criminals, children legal status, children's behaviour, Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, CPS, cps fraud, deadbeat dads, Department of Social Servies, Divorce, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, due process rights, family court, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fatherlessness, fathers rights, federal crimes, Feminism, Freedom, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, judicial corruption, kidnapped children, Marriage, motherlessness, mothers rights, National Parents Day, Non-custodial fathers, Non-custodial mothers, parental alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, Parental Rights Amendment, Parentectomy, Parents rights, Restraining Orders, Rooker-Feldman Doctrine on July 3, 2009 at 3:30 pm
This a book on American fatherhood and the result of children growing up in homes without dads.

This book is due out on July 15, 2009.  The author is David Popenoe is professor of sociology emeritus and co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. He is the author or editor of numerous books and articles, and as co-chair of the Council on Families in America, he was the primary author of its pioneering 1995 report Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation.

Families without Fathers
Fatherhood, Marriage and Children in American Society

Author(s): David Popenoe

jacket Image for Families without Fathers

Author Biography:
David Popenoe is professor of sociology emeritus and co-director of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. He is the author or editor of numerous books and articles, and as co-chair of the Council on Families in America, he was the primary author of its pioneering 1995 report Marriage in America: A Report to the Nation.

Families without Fathers by David Popenoe : Eurospan Bookstore.

Fathers wanted, fathers needed

In Alienation of Affection, Child Custody, Child Support, child trafficking, children criminals, children legal status, children's behaviour, Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, CPS, cps fraud, custody, deadbeat dads, Department of Social Servies, Divorce, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, due process rights, family court, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fatherlessness, fathers rights, federal crimes, Feminism, Foster CAre Abuse, Freedom, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, kidnapped children, Liberty, Marriage, motherlessness, mothers rights, National Parents Day, Non-custodial fathers, Non-custodial mothers, parental alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, parental rights, Parental Rights Amendment, Parentectomy, Parents rights, Restraining Orders on July 3, 2009 at 2:20 pm

Fathers wanted, fathers needed

By Jesse Muhammad
Staff Writer | Last updated: Jul 3, 2009 – 8:55:36 AM

Bookmark and Share

Father’s Day, with its annual commercialized corporate advertisements and gift giving, has come and gone, but one group of men in America must continue year-round work to break the stereotype that they are irresponsible, no-good and indifferent towards parenting—the group of men is Black fathers.

fathers_gr1.jpg


‘I don’t have time to make excuses, because I have a baby on the way. Also, I have linked up with a few older men who are positive role models in my neighborhood because we as young males need guidance. I don’t want to be a ‘baby daddy.’ I want to be a father.’
—Robert Jackson, 18


Black children living in fatherless homes exceed 50 percent; single Black mothers are increasingly at the helm of households, not to mention the number of Black children having to talk to incarcerated fathers through a double pane of glass.While analysts and the media often focus on the problem, Dr. Rozario Slack and other advocates seek to counter the negative image with examples of Black men who are successful husbands, fathers and role models.

“We can’t just continue to point out the statistics. We already know them. But who is offering assistance to the men and being the example is the question. Where are those stories?” asked Dr. Slack.

Dr. Slack is the founder of Rozario Slack Enterprises in Chattanooga, Tenn. He travels across the country conducting seminars about marriage, fathering and other issues that impact children and families. He challenges Black men to develop healthy, wholesome family, and marital relationships. He has also published several books that offer real life tools.

“We help young men with pre-birth preparation, ways to avoid infidelity, financial management, and other means by which to save their families,” said Dr. Slack. He has been married over 16 years and has three children ages 13, 10, and 6.

“I am blessed to have an example in my parents who have been married for 58 years,” said Dr. Slack, who is also the head pastor of Temple of Faith Deliverance Church of God in Christ. “Divorce is far from my mind. We have to show that President Obama is only an example of other great Black husbands and fathers that exist. With all due respect, he is not the only one. Let’s push them out front.”

Strengthening relationships, providing services

To groups such as M3 Math & Science Academy in Berkeley, Calif., Black boys are the most important issue facing the Black community today. With one-third of all Black men in the country connected to the penal system and a more than 50 percent high school dropout rate, the situation is serious but the group hasn’t given up.

Since its inception, a central part of M3’s strategy has been getting more Black fathers involved in their sons’ lives, explained K.G. Charles-Harris, M3’s executive director. “Fathers are necessary for boys and the value of a father’s emotional support is irreplaceable,” said Mr. Charles-Harris.

“While the effort is still nascent, M3’s initial success bodes well for the future of the program,” said Prentice Parr, M3’s program manager. “The amount of involved fathers or male guardians has more than doubled over the past year. This is having a significant effect on the boy’s behavior and self-perception.”

In a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology, researchers found Black adolescent boys in households without a father are more at risk for developing low self-esteem compared with other Black adolescents. Further statistics noted that 69 percent of Black births are to unmarried women, compared to 25 percent for Whites.

According to the group Fathers Who Care, children from fatherless homes represent 71 percent of pregnant teenagers; 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children; 63 percent of youth suicides; 75 percent of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers; 70 percent of juveniles in state-operated institutions; 85 percent of all youth sitting in prison; and 85 percent of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders.

Fathers Who Care is a comprehensive,father friendly community social service initiative based in Chicago. It was created to help indigent custodial and non-custodial fathers. The group provides services designed to empower fathers to build positive relationships with their children, strengthen parental involvementskills and promote responsible fatherhood.

“Picking up your child, holding him or her and giving them a kiss and saying I love you, means more than money or a new toy. No man has a greater gift than to give of himself,” said Rep. Danny Davis (D-Ill.), who co-sponsored a Black males expo led by Fathers Who Care on June 6 in Chicago.

“One fact that continues to appear is that our children are in crisis, big time. And part of the reason for this crisis, I believe, is due to fathers not being regularly involved in the lives of their children,” said Congressman Davis.

‘I don’t want to be a ‘baby daddy,’ I want to be a father’

A good example of a father is what 18-year-old Robert Jackson of Dallas did not have growing up in the projects. “My mother has been the only father I knew and the drug dealers in the streets became my uncles at a young age. I was always getting in trouble. But now that I am about to have a child, I had to have a change in my lifestyle,” he told The Final Call.

His girlfriend is eight months pregnant. They just graduated from high school with no plans of attending college. “I did not expect this to happen so now I am looking for a job because I do not want to hustle out in these streets. But the economic times are so hard that young people such as me are finding it hard to get a job,” he said.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor statistics, the unemployment rate among Black teens is six times the national rate. That means over 295,000 Black teenagers are actively seeking employment.

“I think the surge in young males becoming fathers has contributed to the ongoing stereotypes of Black fatherhood because many of these young people are unprepared,” said Dr. Felicia Wilson, a psychologist based in Las Vegas. She mentors teenage girls who become pregnant in high school.

“Yes, the economic times are hard but we have to teach our youth responsibility when it comes to sex. Teen pregnancy is prevalent so it creates situations where young men are running off. But all of the boys are not running despite the media coverage,” said Dr. Wilson.

“I don’t have time to make excuses because I have a baby on the way. Also I have linked up with a few older men who are positive role models in my neighborhood because we as young males need guidance. I don’t want to be a ‘baby daddy.’ I want to be a father,” said Mr. Jackson.

Dr. Wilson pointed out that many Black males get imprisoned for not paying child support and struggle to have relationships with the mothers of their children.

“Many young girls listen to their peers. So even when the young man is doing the best he can, she may still file child support out of spite,” said Dr. Wilson. “Then the relationship between them begins to take a downward spiral and the child suffers. It’s a dismal cycle which can cause a Black male with a clean prison record to now have a warrant for his arrest for child support.”

Victor Jackson, of Houston, was 17-years-old when his baby girl Ashyri was born. Out of immaturity he says he allowed the mother of his child to make all of the decisions, which he regrets.

“I wish I would have taken charge of the situation but I did not know how,” Mr. Jackson, 26, told The Final Call. “She promised she would never file child support on me but once we separated she did otherwise.”

In 2004, Mr. Jackson had child support documents delivered at his doorstep saying he owed more than $17,000. Being without work due to having a dishonorable discharge from the military, he avoided an arrest warrant by staying with friends.

“When I filed my taxes this year, they took the entire $2,300 from me. It’s rough,” said Mr. Jackson. “But whenever I get any kind of money, I give it directly to her mother because I want to do for my child.”

New York-based hip hop artist and father NYOIL launched two initiatives to strengthen the presence of Black fathers in the lives of their children and help them find jobs. The programs are called Where is My Dad? and the EMP Initiative.

“The purpose of Where is My Dad? is to assist Black fathers by providing information to help in the re-imaging of the world’s view of us,” said NYOIL, a father of three children.

The EMP (Empathy, Employment & Powerment) is a partnership with Distinctive Personnel, which is one of the largest Latino staffing agencies in the county. Through EMP, Black fathers can get assistance with job searches, resumé writing, interviewing skills, career counseling and green jobs preparation.

“People who are employed are empowered. This is not about talk, but action,” said NYOIL. He also volunteers with the Tsunami Track Club based in Staten Island.

Houston-based hip hop artist Zin travels frequently to Fort Worth, Texas, to visit his eight-year-old daughter born from a previous marriage. “Even though her mother and I are divorced, we have worked to build a friendship because it’s all about what is best for our daughter. It’s still a struggle but just because you are not with the mother doesn’t mean you should abandon your children,” he said.

Although his parents are no longer a couple, 18-year-old college bound student Keith J. Davis Jr. has a model relationship with his father who instilled in him a desire to be an entrepreneur.

“My father taught me early on the skills of negotiating, marketing, accounting and sales. I have been doing this since the age of 10 when he was selling wholesale clothes out of his trunk,” said the young Mr. Davis. “Without my father in my life I would not be where I am. Both of my parents are my support system.”

His father, Keith Davis Sr., sits at the helm of a marketing firm that has been in existence for over 10 years. “I have always tried to lead by example, instead of telling Keith Jr. how to do something, I would show him. The best teacher is a good example. We have to take care of our children,” he said.

Fathers wanted, fathers needed.

A Girl’s First Hero – Her Father

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Support, children legal status, children's behaviour, Civil Rights, CPS, custody, deadbeat dads, Divorce, Domestic Relations, due process rights, family court, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fathers rights, Freedom, Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, Non-custodial fathers, parental alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, Parental Rights Amendment, Parents rights on July 1, 2009 at 9:00 am

How dads inspire and support a daughter’s development

By JOANNE RICHARD

Last Updated: 16th June 2009, 5:45am

Hey, dads, what you sow now, your daughters will reap later.

How a woman feels about herself as a woman goes back to how dad treated his little girl, report experts.

“Behind every great woman, you will find her dad” — that’s if he was an engaged, present, involved dad, says Dr. Mary Jo Rapini.

Dad and daughter

“If dads are able to admire their daughters achievements, character and interests and not their looks, the daughter will grow up to be confident and self assured. She will choose men who treat her with the same admiration and respect as her dad did,” adds Rapini, a psychotherapist and author.

According to Rapini, a dad has so much power over his daughter.

“If he gives her gifts and focuses on her looks he will raise a girl who is more materialistic and thinks love and affection comes in a gift box.

“If he praises her looks all of the time, he will raise someone who loathes herself and is constantly checking to make sure she looks OK in a mirror — we do that enough anyway.

“If he focuses on her abilities and interests he will develop a daughter who is more self assured, confident and understands leadership.”

Studies show that dads give girls 90% of their self-esteem before the age of 12, she says. “What this means is that girls that grow up without a dad in the home, or one who abandoned them, are always going to be a little bit less confident and sure of themselves than peers who grow up with a dad in the home.”

According to Rapini, an involved, engaged dad will be viewed as the first man she ever loved, and someone who loves her unconditionally. “Unlike mom — who many daughters have emotional fights with — dads don’t get into all of the drama and are more accepting of them.

“Dads also have a way of redirecting a girl when she is being overly emotional. He can make her laugh and help her see the situation is not as bad as it appears. The daughter looks at dad as the type of man she wants to someday marry,” adds Rapini, co-author of Start Talking: A Girls Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex or Whatever.

Dads need to be sure not to pull away from daughters during the teenage years, adds Dr. Venus Nicolino. “Many fathers feel uncomfortable with transformation from tween to teen — she’s no longer daddy’s little girl.

“A father needs to be there, emotionally available at all times but especially when he feels himself wanting to pull away during her teenage years. An emotionally available father can be the stabilizing force for a young woman. The little voice inside her that says, ‘I love you no matter what’, ” says Nicolino, a relationship expert.

She adds that the best thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother so that she will witness what to expect from the men in her life, and what she should not have to put up with.

“Having a father who loves her mother makes her more likely to go on to choose a man who will truly love her.”

Do

Dr. Mary Jo Rapini suggests these five dosfor dads to positively impact his daughters:

– Focus on your daughter’s talents and make note of them.

– Focus on times you see her being respectful, confident, compassionate and compliment her.

– Help her/guide her in creating her vision, dreams and interests.

– Tell her she can be or do anything she puts her mind to.

– Talk less, do more with her, listen to her.

Don’t

– Be controlling and tell her you will decide what is best for her.

– Tell her she is pretty and say it all the time so she becomes focused on being pretty.

– Tell her she is getting chubby. Really, if you focus on their body you will create a girl with lots of issues and she may never get over them.

– Fight with her mom and be disrespectful to her in front of your daughter.

– Tell her she is not very smart — “if you do this, I promise she will fulfil it.”

– Dr. Mary Jo Rapini

via A girl’s first hero | Life | Toronto Sun.

Five Myths on Fathers and Family by W. Bradford Wilcox on National Review Online

In Alienation of Affection, Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, Child Support, child trafficking, children criminals, children legal status, children's behaviour, Childrens Rights, Civil Rights, deadbeat dads, Department of Social Servies, Divorce, Domestic Relations, Domestic Violence, Marriage, motherlessness, mothers rights, Non-custodial fathers, Non-custodial mothers, Parents rights on June 25, 2009 at 9:26 pm

Five Myths on Fathers and Family

Be on the lookout this week for stories with these bogus memes.

By W. Bradford Wilcox

With Father’s Day almost upon us, expect a host of media stories on men and family life. Some will do a good job of capturing the changes and continuities associated with fatherhood in contemporary America. But other reporters and writers will generalize from their own unrepresentative networks of friends and family members, try to baptize the latest family trend, or assume that our society is heading ceaselessly in a progressive direction. So be on the lookout this week for stories, op-eds, and essays that include these five myths on contemporary fatherhood and family life.

1. THE ‘MR. MOM’ SURGE

Open a newspaper or turn on a TV in the week heading up to Father’s Day and you are bound to confront a story on stay-at-home dads. I have nothing against stay-at-home dads, but they make up a minuscule share of American fathers.

For instance, less than 1 percent (140,000) of America’s 22.5 million married families with children under 15 had a stay-at-home dad in 2008, according to the U.S. Census. By contrast, about 24 percent (5,327,000) of those families had a stay-at-home mom. This means that the vast majority — more than 97 percent — of all stay-at-home parents are moms, not dads.

via Five Myths on Fathers and Family by W. Bradford Wilcox on National Review Online.

The focus on Mr. Mom obscures another important reality. In most American families today, fathers still take the lead when it comes to breadwinning: In 2008, the Census estimated that fathers were the main provider in almost three-quarters of American married families with children under 18. Providership is important to protect children from poverty, raise their odds of educational success, and increase the likelihood that they will succeed later in life. Thus, the very real material contribution that the average American dad makes to his family is obscured by stories that focus on that exotic breed, the stay-at-home dad.

2.  WOMEN WANT EVERYTHING
50-50
Another prevailing media myth is that contemporary women are looking for fathers who will split their time evenly between work and family life. It may be true for the average journalist or academic, but it is not true for the average American married mom.

Most married mothers nowadays do want their husbands to do their fair share of housework and childcare. But they do not define fairness in terms of a 50-50 balancing act where fathers and mothers do the same thing at home and work. Instead, contemporary mothers take into account their husbands’ work outside the home when they assess the fairness of the division of labor inside the home.

Moreover, most women who are married with children are happy to have their husbands take the lead when it comes to providing and do not wish to work full-time. For instance, a 2007 Pew Research Center study found that only 20 percent of mothers with children under 18 wanted to work full-time, compared with 72 percent of fathers with children under 18. My own research has shown that married mothers are happiest in their marriages when their husbands take the lead when it comes to breadwinning largely because his success as a provider gives her more opportunities to focus on the children, or balance childcare with part-time work (the most popular work arrangement for married mothers). So, on this Father’s Day, dads who are fortunate enough to hold down a good job and make a major contribution to their families financial welfare should take some comfort from the fact that they are likely to be boosting not only their families bottom line but also their wives’ happiness.

3.  MARRIAGE IS JUST A PIECE OF PAPER
With the rise of cohabitation over the last 40 years, a large minority of American children will spend some time in a household headed by a cohabiting couple. Experts now estimate that about 40 percent of American children will spend some time in a cohabiting household, either because they are born into such a household or because one of their parents cohabits after a breakup. Faced with this reality, many journalists, scholars, and advocates are tempted to minimize the differences between married and cohabiting fathers and families.

But the reality is that, on average, cohabiting fathers do not compare with married fathers. As Sandra Hofferth of the University of Maryland and Kermyt Anderson of the University of Oklahoma found in a recent study, married fathers are significantly more involved and affectionate with their children than are cohabiting fathers. In fact, from their research, they conclude “that marriage per se confers advantage in terms of father involvement above and beyond the characteristics of the fathers themselves.”

Married fathers are also much more likely than their cohabiting peers to stick around. One recent study by Wendy Manning at Bowling Green State and Pamela Smock at the University of Michigan found that 50 percent of children born to cohabiting parents saw their parents break up by age five; by comparison, only 15 percent of children born to married parents saw their parents divorce by age five. Dad is much more likely to stick around if he has a wedding ring on his finger.

This is because, for men, marriage and fatherhood are a “package deal,” as sociologists Frank Frustenberg and Andrew Cherlin observed a number of years ago. By force of law and custom, marriage binds men to their families and gives them a recognizable role to play in the lives of their children. Try as they might, unmarried men typically find it difficult to be a consistent and positive force in the lives of their children.

4.  THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT
Every couple of years, some journalist seeks to revive the myth of the good divorceoften to excuse his or her own bad behavior. Sandra Tsing Loh is Exhibit A this week. In the most recent issue of The Atlantic, she spends several thousand words trying to justify her divorce from her husband of 20 yearsa man she admits is a “good man” and “loving father” — under the cover of a sprawling, incoherent, and frankly disturbing review of five books on marriage and family life. (Among other things, the reader is regaled with all too much information about Loh’s private life; we learn, for instance, that one reason she ended up divorced is that she could not replace the “romantic memory of my fellow [adulterous] transgressor with the more suitable image of my husband.”)

Loh claims that her children appear to be doing just fine. Her two school-age girlsaged 7 and 9appear to be “unfazed” and “relatively content” in the midst of their parents’ divorce. Who knew divorce could be so easy on the kids?

In reality, Loh is probably deluding herself. The best social science presents a rather different picture than the rosy one Loh is trying to paint. According to research by Sara McLanahan of Princeton University and Paul Amato of Penn State, girls whose parents divorce are about twice as likely to drop out of high school, to become pregnant as teenagers, and to suffer from psychological problems such as depression and thoughts of suicide. Girls whose parents divorce are also much more likely to divorce later in life.

Moreover, studies indicate that children experience the most harm when their parents divorce after living together in a low-conflict marriage for many years (as Loh appears to have done). Why? These divorces come as the most surprising ones to children who thought that their parents had a good-enough marriage.

Though Loh manages to find for her Atlantic piece a bunch of well-educated friends who are also entertaining thoughts of divorce, she is (fortunately) in increasingly rare company. The work of sociologist Steven Martin indicates that since 1980, college-educated Americans have grown less tolerant of divorce, and the divorce rate among this cohort has fallen off sharply. Thus, well-educated readers of The Atlantic are unlikely to take Loh’s misleading and self-serving essay to heart.

5.  DADS ARE DISPENSABLE
The final myth propagated by journalists in connection with fatherhood these days is the myth of the dispensable father. Often conjured up in glowing profiles of women who have become single mothers by choice, this myth holds that fathers do not play a central role in children’s lives.

This myth fails to take into account the nowvast social scientific literature (discussed above) showing that children typically do better in an intact, married families with their fathers than they do in families headed by single mothers.

It also overlooks the growing body of research indicating that fathers bring distinctive talents to the parenting enterprise. The work of psychologist Ross Parke, for instance, indicates that fathers are more likely than mothers to engage their children in vigorous physical play (e.g., roughhousing), to challenge their childrenincluding their daughtersto embrace life’s challenges, and to be firm disciplinarians.

Not surprisingly, children benefit from being exposed to the distinctive paternal style. Sociologist David Eggebeen has shown, for instance, that teenagers are significantly less likely to suffer from depression and delinquency when they have involved and affectionate fathers, even after controlling for the quality of their relationship with their mother. In his words, “What these analyses clearly show is that mothers and fathers both make vital contributions to adolescent well-being.”

This is not to say that all journalists get it wrong when it comes to making sense of contemporary fatherhood and family life. This week, for instance, Sue Shellenberger at the Wall Street Journal had a great piece discussing the ways in which mothers serve as gatekeepers for fathers to their children; she also encourages mothers to allow fathers to engage children with their own distinctive style of parenting. Likewise, Linda Carroll at MSNBC has written an incisive story showing that involved and affectionate fathers play a crucial role in steering their daughters away from early sexual activity; in fact, it turns out that dads are more important than moms in protecting their teenage daughters from early sex.

In the coming years, we will need more tough-minded and honest journalism like the kind offered by Shellenberger and Carroll. This is particularly true because the cultural and economic storms of latee.g., the individualistic turn of contemporary life and the recessionhave been eroding the marital foundations of family life in America. Given the social scientific record on fatherhood, marriage, and family life, the United States could use more journalists who are willing to confront hard truths about the roles that fathers and marriage play in advancing the welfare of our nation’s most vulnerable citizens, our children, and the cultural, economic, and legal forces that are now undercutting marriage and fatherhood in America.

W. Bradford Wilcox is a professor of sociology at the University of Virginia and a senior fellow at the Institute for American Values.

Breakthrough Parenting – Moving Your Family from Struggle to Cooperation

In Best Interest of the Child, Child Custody, children's behaviour, Childrens Rights, Domestic Relations, Family Court Reform, Family Rights, fatherlessness, fathers rights, Jayne Major, motherlessness, mothers rights, National Parents Day, parental alienation, Parental Alienation Syndrome, Parental Kidnapping, Parental Relocation, parental rights, Parents rights on June 23, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Breakthrough Parenting – Moving Your Family from Struggle to Cooperation.
Breakthrough Parenting®

For more than 20 years, we have helped families from all backgrounds achieve what they described as solid breakthroughs.

Breakthroughs usually come from hard work of course. In this case, we invested more than 15,000 hours of work to develop a truly comprehensive program to help parents understand how children think, how they function at different ages, and how to get effective discipline through teaching what to do, as opposed to just pointing out what not to do. All of this with no manipulation and no violence.

Would you like to move your family from struggle to cooperation?
Here’s what one parent said about the award-winning Breakthrough Parenting® program:

“I had power struggles with my six year-old son on a daily basis, these have now been completely eliminated. Your techniques allow for a child’s individuality to shine through, in addition to the discipline necessary to give them the skills to learn and to develop good values. Breakthrough Parenting has made an incredible difference in my life!”

The Culver City, Cal. PTA (Parents & Teachers
Association) won the California State PTA highest
award for their Breakthrough Parenting program.

Family court judges in one of the largest counties in the State of Washington now specify in court orders for parents that they “…must take parenting classes such as Breakthrough Parenting.” Over several years these judges have seen the huge benefits of these classes for both parents and children.

Click here to learn more about our Parenting-Class-In-A-Box!

Are you going through a divorce with custody issues?
Learn here how to solve custody problems at a fraction of the sadly typical financial and emotional cost.

We have 20 years of experience with divorce custody cases and know a LOT about what helps parents.

“The techniques I learnt from Breakthrough Parenting made a definite impression on the court-appointed custody evaluator.”

~Jim Ward, parent, Los Angeles, Calif.

Click here to learn more about how we can help!

Would you like to be trained to become a Certified Breakthrough Parenting® Instructor anywhere in the U.S. or overseas?

Professionals at agencies, hospitals, family ministries, and in private practice across the U.S., Canada and overseas have set up exceptionally successful parenting programs with help from our comprehensive training program.

“Breakthrough Parenting is a revolutionary program, and it is obvious to my team that we have seen more success in the lessons of Breakthrough Parenting we have presented to date than in all the classes any of us have ever taught.”

~Mollie M. Hughes, CBPI, CHS, Everett, Washington

With more than 20,000 hours put into the development of the key materials used for this program, this is the most comprehensive and up-to-date parenting program today.

This program contains no fluff or “pop psychology,” it is simply based on solid research and experience with many thousands of families.

Every part of this program has shown its value to trained professionals across the U.S., working with parents of all educational and socioeconomic backgrounds.

All materials are as clear as we could make them, and the program is designed let you help parents take action immediately, without having to digest large amounts of information.

The very high quality classroom materials (available in English and Spanish) help instructors get the attention of stressed parents.

Even many very jaded family professionals have called this program “life changing!”

Most of the instructors that we have trained were previously using other parenting programs.

They mixed bits and pieces from several different programs in order to try to come up with a complete program to help today’s parents, but still got questions that weren’t covered in their materials.

The Breakthrough Parenting training curriculum is complete. It covers all that parents need to know about raising kids to be successful, while they grow up and afterwards when they have to go out on their own as responsible adults in society.

Parents learn how to “reach” teenagers so that communication is possible about anything that comes up. You may have noticed that you can’t really tell teens (or, increasingly also “tweens”) anything, so you have to make them want to communicate with you, and we show you how.

Breakthrough Parenting gives you a genuine understanding of how children function, not just “tips on parenting”.

Family court judges in one of the largest counties in Washington state now state in their court orders for parents that they, “…must take parenting classes such as Breakthrough Parenting.” Why do they mention Breakthrough Parenting specifically? Because they have seen the huge benefit of these classes for parents and their children.

MFTs (Marriage and Family Therapists) and LCSWs (Licensed Clinical Social Workers) can get 15 California CEUs (Continuing Education Units, also recognized by many other states) for our program, we are CEU Provider # PCE 1402.

However, you do not have to be an MFT or LCSW to take this training. Our many successful graduates have been teachers, day care providers, family ministry staff, domestic violence case managers and workers, psychologists, nurses, drug rehabilitation professionals, human resource professionals, and more categories.

What is important is that you have experience working with a public audience. We can teach you the rest in the most efficient professional training program available today.

News: We just got funding for 4 reduced tuitions for our instructor training program, be quick and you may be able to get in for less than our 1998 rates!

Currently Breakthrough Parenting Instructor Training is offered in Los Angeles (CA), Orlando (FL), and Seattle (WA).

Click here for information on becoming a Certified Parenting Instructor!

~Ms. Mindy Dadon, parent, Los Angeles, Calif.